The Tonny Chronicles:She Curved Me Because I Didn’t Have A Car… But She Wasn’t Ready For This.

“When it rains, it pours”, the past few weeks, my little house of cards has come crumbling to the ground; so has everything else. Everything seems to have suddenly decided to dance out of tune, like a drunk bloke at a beer party who never gets the moves right.

Let me tell you how it all started.

I met Chloe at a corporate dinner a few months back and she stole my heart, all of it. She was the most perfect being you ever saw, seated there in all her glory at their company table clad in a burgundy cape, a little black dress beneath it and the reddest Givenchy pumps you ever saw, the most startling thing was her face, and her lips which stood out, her ox-blood lipstick commanding attention to her full lips.

I fell in love when she stood up to walk to the ladies, her hips swaying majestically as she walked the length of room with the swaying gait of a duck.

By  the time she came back from the ladies with a fresher coat of lipstick on, I had already made up my mind; armed with a little speech made in my mind I walked up to her.

“Hey miss, I beg your indulgence for a minute, can I talk to you outside?”

She looked at me as if trying to measure my worth; I looked pretty decent, brogues on my feet complemented by a charcoal gray Giambatista Valli suit. She smiled after 30 long seconds and stood up and walked outside, I was beyond excited as  I walked behind her, meekly, taking it all in, making up my little speech complete with flattering references from Shakespeare and Lord Tennyson.

After a short walk we got out side and stood near a cropped rose hedge, dinner would be served in exactly 15 minutes, that was enough time to execute my speech.

“Chloe ,I started, Colpo di fulmine. The thunderbolt, as Italians call it. When love strikes someone like lightning, so powerful and intense it can’t be denied. It’s beautiful and messy, cracking a chest open and spilling their soul out for the world to see. It turns a person inside out, and there’s no going back from it. Once the thunderbolt hits, your life isirrevocably changed….”  I finished coyly, quoting J.m Darhower’s Sempre

Those short minutes, we held hands and a bolt of electricity shot up my arm, if Chloe felt anything; she was doing a wonderful job of keeping it masked.

After Dinner, Chloe left with her colleagues with a promise that she would call me.

She called me the following day and set up a date later that evening at the ocean basket.  I showed up for date an hour late thanks to the traffic. Chloe did not give anything away, she was expressionless as I sat across her.

After dinner she began…

“Tonny, driving here can’t be that bad, I was here an hour earlier; what kind of a guy keeps a lady waiting “

“Chloe, I need to tell you something, I don’t have a car, I had to take a matatu here, and traffic was so bad that’s why I showed up late…”

“What? You don’t have a car and you wore a Giambatista valli the other day?” “What sort of a man shops Italian wears brogues and has no car?”

I couldn’t speak, here were my dreams spilling out from the little chest I had conjured. Chloe stood up, smirked and left.

When she got to the door, she turned and shouted:

“Buy a car, loser!”

Everyone turned and looked at me, I could see pity written all over their faces and in their bulbous eyes as I stood and made a walk of shame to the door tears welling up and stinging my eyes.

I made it to the door as Chloe whipped past in her car without even turning to look at me.  I made it home alright and slumped in bed. By the grace of God I caught some sleep and slept off my frustrations.

The morning after, I woke up to a missed call from a strange number, 0734111777.  I was not in the mood of entertaining strange calls after being curved.

As if on cue, the strange number called me again, the caller identified themselves as employees of Airtel Kenya before telling me that I had won a car!

I called it bluff and hanged up; I had heard enough of Kamiti inmates soliciting for money from people after such trickery and tomfoolery. I wasn’t about that life; before I even fixed my breakfast, Chloe called me; I looked at the phone the same way a person looks at their bully.

The next thing I knew was a message from Chloe:

“Hey hun, it is never that serious, pick my calls, I just saw your name all over the news, is it true that you won that expensive car??”

When Airtel called me later that afternoon with details of how to get my car, I was beyond myself with glee and elation!

I had joined Airtel Smartika competition harmlessly only to be surprised with a dream car when I really needed it! The good thing is that pretty anyone can participate in the competition, If you miss the car, you might win money, or other goodies! If you don’t, you will have tried and we all know what trying does.

As we speak, Chloe is slowly creeping back, this time though, I’m calling the shots, but most importantly, I will never be late for a date!

Here’s the catch, you can join the smartika competition too by clicking here