Confession: I’ll Spend my Christmas Hanging Out at a Flyover!

While am generally outdoorsy, my inner heart thrives in the city – for, I have a peculiar obsession. I love flyovers. Yes. Flyovers.

It’s hard to explain, but I’ll try.

My wife says that I’ve never outgrown my inner child. The kids have started naming flyovers along Thika Road after me!

In a world brimming with tight budgets, work deadlines, high taxes, parental responsibilities – I’m truly at my most peaceful whenever I step on a flyover.

If I’m stressed or tired I just need to search for the nearest one.

Unlike my family, I do not like vacations. It always seems like so much work. A ton of things to worry about – luggage, traffic, weather, rude hotel staff and so on.

I asked to skip this year’s Christmas trip to Mombasa.

Wife: As long as you pay our bills, you can have your fill of flyovers!

Kids: Really, Dad? You choose flyovers over us?

No (yes) pun intended.

Me: I just need a bit of me time. You guys can be tiring. 

I saw them off at the SGR terminus on 23rd December. Lips pouting.

Oh, I knew they’d really dent my KCB Debit card but I couldn’t wait for the train’s final whistle. Someday, I’ll explain my perception of flyovers to them.

They think it’s the endless loop of cars zipping past, but it’s really about the people in the cars.

It’s always a tiny flash, but I get a glimpse of every face that’s cruising down the highway.

The faces tell me a gazillion stories. If you are keen.

Happy. Sad. Grateful. Angry. Ecstatic. Worried. Fazed. Proud. Grieving. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Content.

The typical human face can reveal so many emotions. My happiest time is when constructing the emotions and story behind the face, or faces.

People in love are often the easiest to identify. They’re often holding hands. Maybe they are rushing home after their first date. A man will often drive slowly if he’s dropping off his date – if it went well.

I once saw a man sobbing. It broke my heart. I suppose he’d just lost his job, or his business just suffered a major blow. Or, perhaps, their mama passed away or their favorite Barber Shop shut down.

These things will break a man.

There’s the new driver. Ah, you’ll see them hugging the wheel, hands in the proper 3-6 o’clock position.

The veterans? Dear Lord – I’ve shuddered over shirtless men rolling 10-wheeler trucks down the highway, hands-free.

This year, though – my family has unwittingly ruined it all.

Today, I got to my favourite spot on a Thika Road flyover, at 10am. This was their first day in Diani, Ukunda.

The problem is that my phone started vibrating constantly with bank notifications. Seems my family vacationing in South Coast had taken my absence a little too personally.

They forgot to yell at me before they left. Now, they were taking it out on our KCB Debit Card. It is linked to my mobile number.

Who starts their vacation with shopping, I ask. The first swipe was at a mall – sandals, six pairs. What? We have two kids!

Some perfume, a water bottle and, wait – who needed a new swimming costume? They have lots of pairs!

I only enjoyed my day at the flyover during a brief afternoon lull in the swiping. I assumed they had gone for a swim or a beach walk.

I had to go home early afternoon. I couldn’t concentrate no more.

I love it that I can track spending on the KCB Debit card – but, absolutely horrified that I’m paying for a 2kg tub of vanilla chocolate.

As we usher in fun December in style, what’s your funniest X-mas family story?

Oh, it’s December already.

Suddenly, those memes start to make sense.

“You go out in slippers and shorts to get mandazi for breakfast, and return home at midnight, sloshed and incoherent”.

Yes, this is the month it happens.

For ethical reasons, I couldn’t share the link to this story here – so here’s a copy paste version.

If you look at our family’s photos for Christmas 2016, you’ll notice that in each group photo, there’s always 3 or 4 people yawning.

Uncanny, huh?

Well, my extended family’s tradition is that each of my dad’s sibling hosts the Christmas feast on a rotational basis.

In 2016, we were marking Christmas in Uncle Mutua’s home in Nyali, Mombasa.

He’s the eldest son in my dad’s family. A day or two before X-mas, he’d booked each of his sibling’s family in assorted hotels around Nyali, all within 15 minutes’ drive to his home.

My dad is the second born, and so had been tasked to marshal everyone to keep time on X-mas Day, and have everyone arrive at Uncle Mutua’s home on time.

My Dad had a watch that showed different times for different time zones across the world, a feature he’d enjoy showing off to everyone at dinner.

On that X-mas Day, we still know not what time zone his watch had been set.

He shakes us awake, then calls every other uncle and commands a tentative arrival at the host’s house in quarter of an hour. No questions asked.

When we drive out of the hotel, there’s barely anyone in the street. Not even stray dogs.

Surprisingly, everyone turns up at Uncle Mutua’s drive way – in 15 minutes. Luckily, Mombasa ain’t freezing in December.

We knock at the door at 5:15 AM.

My aunt opens the door, and groggily grunts: “Oh. The family is here.”

Her tone, well, didn’t sound much Christmassy.

Kind of like, “Oh. It’s cancer”.

On every picture that day there are like four people yawning.

******

All good December stories start with alcohol and fun parties, but in 2020 – that may have to change a bit. The budget has been pretty tight, with little cash flow.

This is the beginning of December, and Christmas is still a few weeks off.

For a memorable time, one doesn’t need to wait for X-mas to have fun, but can slowly start saving for it. One can forgo regular, everyday expenses and save up the amount for the festive weekend.

You can walk to work, and save up the fare. Leave the car at home, and save the fuel money. You can skip weekend nights out, or eating out and save that up.

Digital banking makes this easy.

Introducing the Co-op Bank e-Commerce platform.

Co-op Bank e-Commerce platform allows the use of mobile phones or personal computers to access Co-op Bank accounts through USSD numbers, M-Coop Cash Apps, M-Pesa Pay bill numbers, or the use of Co-op Visa Cards including making payments by swiping at payment points with PDQ/POS machines.

It’s easy to track expenses, credits or debits in real time. It’s fast, safe and convenient. Within moments, one receives account notification messages on mobile phones.

To save up in bits, conveniently use Co-op Bank’s M-Pesa Pay bill number 400200 that allows direct deposits to Co-op bank account.

On the M-Pesa menu, input the Paybill number 400200, then add bank account number on the ‘add account’ section.

To learn more, click here to check online for the Co-op Bank e-Commerce platform, or visit the nearest Co-op Bank branch.

Interesting: https://www.ghafla.co.ke/sponsored/why-on-earth-does-everyone-miss-those-miserable-days-in-high-school/