Blind Dates: What tips the balance between ‘fun’ and ‘a total disaster’?
Image: A romantic hotel setting for a date, in Nairobi. (file image)What do you need to know when meeting someone on a blind date?
Social Intelligence
This translates to the ability to know what should and should not be said in a social setting – especially someone you are meeting for the first time. An example of a really daft statement:
“If you want to date me, don’t you think you should lose some weight?”
It doesn’t matter how much chemistry you had developed, this kind of insensitivity is an instant killjoy. Not only are you trying to change someone you just met, but you also portray a narcissistic streak in you.
Discard Stereotypes
Sometimes, one’s background may unconsciously breed stereotypic opinions on matters like religion, women, ways of life, etc. Be cognizant of your date’s inclinations, and do not rush to offer opinions on how they should be, or live.
Like, an idiot may tell a lady date:
“As my wife, your clothes need to be a little looser”.
“I know you’ve been working for years in your career, but I prefer that my wife doesn’t work”.
If that date lasts to the end – she’ll block your number.
Trust your instincts
What’s your first impression of your date? Are they neat and tidy – clothes doesn’t need to be classy – but do they seem like they made an effort to look good?
Does your date give mixed signals? Like, one minute they are talking about kids, and the next they are saying how having kids ‘ties one down’?
The ‘Tell Me about Yourself’ line.
This is an open noose, and people often crucify themselves. It’s literally stumbling and falling headfirst into your mouth!
Do not be tempted to tell every bad thing you could think about yourself. Do not let your date nudge you, if they say: “so as to have no surprises later”. It’s a trap.
Do not show off your impressive porn collection in your phone.
Forget that whimsical weekend drinking binge you often indulge in with your friends.
Basic Mannerisms
This is hard to crack, and weirdly, it’s basically who we are when no one’s looking. Show less enthusiasm, and cultivate restrain during conversation.
If the man says something funny, do not shout: “Shut the f*** up!” No matter the chemistry, this is not your neighbor whom you’ve known for decades.
The Ex-Factor
Ignore your ex, no matter how fond or distasteful their memories are. It shows insecurity, if one rattles on and on about their ex. The psycho’s will sometimes call their exes to gloat over a new catch – YOU.
Run!
Money issues
A definite red flag is when your date asks at your first dinner how much money you make. That screams gold-digger, or a materialistic person. Love comes last.
Personal security
The basic rule is arrange a blind date in a public place. This can be a restaurant, a nature walk in a busy public park or beach. Reject suggestions to meet in homes or cars.
If possible, you can arrange for a trusted friend to hang out nearby as you make first contact. After you are comfortable with the date, you can give a pre-arranged ‘Am Safe’ signal.
Avoid expensive jewelry or accessories. Leave the Rolex at home.
It’s also important to avoid cash, as most decent restaurants have cashless means of payments.
Digital banking has made this easy.
Introducing the Co-op Bank e-Commerce platform.
Co-op Bank e-Commerce platform allows the use of mobile phones or personal computers to access Co-op Bank accounts.
Do not be stingy, offer to share dinner expenses – swipe your Co-op Visa Card at the restaurant’s PDQ/POS machine.
To learn more, click here to check online for the Co-op Bank e-Commerce platform, or visit the nearest Co-op Bank branch.
