Shock As KTN’s Betty Kyallo Hooks Up With Prezzo After Divorcing Dennis Okari

Bad boys always win. Who has the balls to dispute that now? He isn’t called Prezzo for no reason. It’s official. Jackson Makini is the new president of our favorite TV anchor’s heart.

Last week, reports emerged that media darlings Dennis Okari and Betty Kyallo were pulling the plug on their much-hyped marriage. This came only a few months after the two held a colorful wedding ceremony and inflicted jealousy on thousands of ‘come we stay’ women all over the country. Now the two have called it quits and Betty has moved on faster than the speed at which Akothee shakes her buttocks in her video with Flavour (the Nigerian singer who has a beef with shirts)

Several weeks ago when Betty hosted Prezzo at KTN, she was like ‘Oh Prezzo, please behave. I am a married woman. Don’t touch me….Uuh. Stop hugging me. Look at you…blab bla bla’ This was after Prezzo unleashed torrents of simmering lust like bullets out of a Mac-10 rifle. Betty appeared to reject him outright but we now know that what women say is different from what women mean. And some famous dude also once said that women are incapable of knowing what they want – if they knew what they wanted, then they’d be men

So I reached out to Betty Kyalo to get her sentiments. It wasn’t easy. She ignores calls like an ex who just dumped you. I had to track her down like I was an obsessed US Paparrazzi and she finally had no choice but to talk to me

“Nyinyi Ghafla mko na umama sana. Mnafaa muachane na watu. Dennis and I are done. Watu huachana. Deuces to that dude. Prezzo is my man now. He’s sweet and manly. People are always quick to judge him but he’s a great guy. I hope we’ll get married soon.”

With those few words, she walked away.

Enyewe Ghafla tuko na umama sana. Hatujawai kataa. But seriously Betty? Marrying Prezzo? Yesu rudi tafadhali.

It is unclear when and how the two hooked up. Some unconfirmed reports claim that Prezzo might have conducted a coup on Betty’s heart in order to revenge against Dennis who had published a series of mean tweets aimed at him the morning after the controversial interview. Some say that Prezzo just rescued the damsel in distress after her marriage hit the rocks. Talk off taking advantage of little opportunities. In the words of Collo, ‘Hii mtaa ina manyoka siamini’.

But what we are sure of is that Betty is totally in love and focused on changing Prezzo and making him a good man. She hopes to make him a faithful man so that he stops banging the likes of ‘Njoti’ Flow. Sorry I meant Noti Flow. But you get the picture right?.

This is truly the shocker of all shockers. Thousands will wonder why such a beautiful role model as Betty Kyalo who can get any man she wanted would hurdle all the obstacles put in her way to feel the reptilian embrace of a man who courts controversy for a living.

If you ask me though, I think that what the gorgeous KTN anchor wants is what every women wants. And that is the gina tingles that come from the dangerous liaisons with an unpredictable stubborn bad boy – not the bed-death predictability that comes from entering the prison which is married life with a boring, dependable, politically-correct man.

As we all try to figure out what happened here, let’s just rely on scientific facts to console ourselves. It’s a scientific fact that women are attracted to men with the suite of personality traits known as the “dark triad”: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy; aka the stuff of which jerks, assholes and badboys like Prezzo are made. It is also scientific fact that I like pranking readers from time to time. (*Unapologetically dances like Akothee*).

Note: This is a satire article. Etemesi shall not be held responsible for any feelings caught by the reader or parties involved