Radio host Thandolwethu opens up about depression struggle

East Coast Urban radio host, Thandolwethu, has come out talking about her battle with depression. She shared her battle on the station’s website, mentioning how she responds to people who do not understand how it is to live with depression.

“We are all ignorant about something in our lives until we are educated about it or directly affected by it. I get slightly jealousy of people like that because that person has never been so sad, they just see darkness. That they keep hearing a distant voice telling them to just end their lives.”

Her depression got so bad that she felt dead. She was not suicidal, but she felt there was no life in her, and thus started cutting herself to feel again.

“When I started cutting a few years ago, I was broken because no one noticed, no one saw me. And let me tell you, being invisible is not nice.”

Depression

Thandolwethu realized she suffered from depression when her hangovers appeared to be different from those of others.

“I’d tell people that something is really wrong with me but some would just brush it off as a hangover, but when I did some research, I learned that alcohol is actually a huge downer, and when you sober up, the high comes off and you crash,” she says.

“It got so bad that at my old job, a colleague of mine says he found me lying underneath a table in a fetal position. I remember him talking to me, but he sounded so far away, you know. I felt so alone. And this was triggered by the hurt my boyfriend at the time caused me, and that everyone close to me knew about it but me. This was someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with,” said an emotional Thando.

“But I believe that what he did was a blessing in my life because it has gotten me to this point, and even though I haven’t figured everything out, I’m here now, and I’m so grateful to be here. I even called him up this year and just told him I don’t blame him for anything, and I don’t. It’s not his fault.”

She is now doing everything she can to be better for herself.

“I even stopped eating meat for a year and noticed that after making that decision, people said I was so much nicer and happier. And I advise people to trust their gut. If you thinking packing your things and moving to Bali will help, do it. Do yoga, meditate, pray. Do whatever it is that will make you happy.”