PARTY CULTURE: Drink Harambees, Satanic Ratchetness and Eye-Popping Dress Codes… This is How People in Nairobi CBD Party
After we’ve analyzed the party traits of them Meru people, and those from the party capital, Westlands,let’s try and look elsewhere now… Before even Westlands happened,and everyone migrated there for their weekend fix,the ultimate Nairobi party spot was the C.B.D.
And even though many have since sworn to never party within the CBD,for fear of looking silly and uncool,and also fear of the unknown,many still throng the city center to dance the weekend away and douse themselves in tanks of alcohol. And you can tell that the CBD is still all the rage with the Number of many nightclubs opening every month-and also offering weekly themed party events. We have the grand The Edge club which has some of the most notorious and self-absorbent Bouncers ever. And then the rather tacky Sevens Club where all manner of tackiness converge. Then you have Rumors,famous for those Karaoke nights. The highly popular Mojos and Tribeka… There’s also Jazz,Mist, Zodiac,Skydome… All of them.
But mostly,the main party jurisdiction is Moi Avenue and Tom Mboya Street (And yes, there’s NO honor on Tom Mboya street).
Overall,almost all CBD clubs seem to have the same theme… Same interior outlook,same prices,same DJ set.. It’s almost like deja vu partying in any of them. The Edge does try to be different… Complete with a million inch giant screen,an upstairs VIP section and some really cool interiors and awesome disco lights. Oh,and the waitresses? Man! They’re dressed to particularly seduce. And do they do a good job.
Now, how do the folks in the CBD parry? Hmmmm….
Drink Harambees
Unlike in Westie,where a single jamaa can singlehandedly buy off the whole bar with his own money,in the CBD, the trend is usually some five guys or so coming together,sitting at a table,calling a waiter and upon inquiring on the price of,say,Gilbeys Mzinga,they will then send the waiter away and take at least 10 minutes raising the cash amongst themselves. Sometimes it may take as much as half an hour as they try and haggle over the price and over who gets to buy the soda or who gets to raise the most cash. It can be a very embarrassing exercise. And nerve-wracking one too. But niggas gotta get drunk. By any means necessary.
Tackiness
This is actually a more polite and rarely-used word for ‘Ratchetness’. You will see them all over the place,on the tables,on the floor,hanging on walls and grinding themselves silly onto anything and anyone. No sense of self-respect here. Just mannerless drunkfuckery and unashamed excitement. It can never get worse.
Dress code
For the city crowd,there’s never really a standard dress code. You can show up looking like a truck. And smelling like one. You can show up covered in cow dung. Or pull up in your mama’s sweater. It’s a free for all. No codes,no care in the world. All manner of clothing is accepted in the CBD party house. It could be a torn fishnet stockings,tattered hot pant,ripped jeans or even a decaying vest. Anything. Just anything..
Riddims and Naija Music.
CBD clubs are chock-full of the same music from club to club to club. It’s like all the DJs are mind-controlled by the same nerve centre. By the time it approaches midnight, or 1am,the DJs all flip to the loudest,rauchiest and rowdiest Naija anthems and Jamaican yells. Patoranking will rule the airwaves in any club in the CBD as from 1am to 3am. Doesn’t matter which club you’re in.
V-Jaying
This is the tired phenomena of video deejays (conclusively called Veejays) who play music that is still running on the mounted TV screens. Usually the music the DJ is playing is always the same music running across the screen all around the stuffy room. This happens almost everywhere today. But it was started by City Centre clubs. And to date,it seems like the ONLY trick they have. Or will ever have.
Stuffiness
Ah,no fresh air. Never ever. You’re in the City Centre. No way are you allowed to enjoy some fresh air. It never gets worse.
Full crowds
CBD clubs don’t play as far as filling up the house is concerned. Any time,these clubs are teeming with hundreds of revelers. Corner to corner. Edge to edge. It’s always a full house in the CBD. Always.
No seats
Due to the overcrowding that we’ve just talked about,good luck getting a seat in these clubs. There’s almost always no seats left. Because by 10.00pm,all seats are taken. So is the dance floor. Try showing up at 11.30pm and you might stand yourself sore till morning. Better still, you can sweet talk some waitress into bringing you a chair. Not sure you’ll get a place to put it anyway. Haha.
Full dance floors
Unlike in Westie,where they shun the dance floor like the plague, in the CBD, the dance floor is sacred. It’s almost always full. From as early as 10.45pm… Good luck getting a dancing slot past that time. And as for the people on the floor,oh, you want to stay away from them. They’re not the best dancers. Neither do they use the best cologne… If they even use any.
Idlers At The Entrance
At any entrance to this city clubs,you’ll surely encounter hordes of Idlers standing by,either eating samosas,buying and swallowing Vodka shots, making phone calls or just chatting amongst themselves. These same Idlers are usually also quite loud and can be quite the nuisance. They will be blocking your way almost half of the time, these Idlers.
Party Don’t Stop
If there’s a crowd that can parry all night,till the sun comes up,and magari za Githurai start lining up for passengers, it’s the CBD crowd. These ones don’t go home at 3am. Or 4am. No, they stick it out till 5.30am. 6.30. Or even 7.00am. Iko nini!
And that,ladies and gentlemen, is how the good drunk revelers in the CBD do their thing. Are they proud of themselves? Most definitely! Are they about to change anytime soon? Oh please!
Give it up for the CBD.
TOMORROW : HOW PEOPLE ALONG THIKA ROAD PARTY.
