huddah Archives - Ghafla! Kenya

Huddah says Kenyans complaining about cost of living just need to earn more

Posted on March 21, 2023 by Ozymandias

Huddah Monroe is back to her vapid ways but this time, we can’t say she’s wrong… I mean, her statement is dumb and distasteful but she’s not wrong!

For some reason she decided to bless us with her 2 cents regarding the cost of living protests that were held on Monday, 21st March 2023 and according to her, they are of no avail.

‘I Once Dated A Makanga’- Huddah Monroe

Huddah feels like the Kenyans complaining about what is happening needs to be addressed as a challenge to raise one’s income rather than complain about existing taxes. And I know that sounded smart to your girlfriend because she too is a bimbo.

The problem with this solution is that it doesn’t address the underlying source of the socio-economic pressure: government spending. You see, we are being taxed because of loans our “leaders” took.

Huddah’s pregnancy was not real

A result of one particular loan we went to beg for was to be told that the government had to pull back any subsidies they had extended to Kenyans to cushion us from tough times. Huddah would know that this means that regardless of how much you earn, you cannot tax a country into prosperity.

And so she would know that while her advise is solid; find ways to increase your income, governance can cut what you own and make it worth less by piling on taxes as it has been doing to the common mwananchi.

Only foolish women would listen to Huddah’s relationship advice

And this is why I regret asking where the celebrities were while Kenyans were demonstrating. If Huddah is opening her mouth to role-play Marie Antionnette then I’d rather she remained silent.

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No one should listen to Huddah Monroe’s marital advice

Posted on January 11, 2023 by Ozymandias

Huddah Monroe is back to giving relationship advice and it’s a rather hilarious event to behold. That is because if you know her background then you know that she’s the last person you’d expect to be in a relationship or secondly she’s the last person who should be giving relationship advice given the fact that she has been accused of being a scarlet woman.

Huddah should learn from Vera Sidika before looking down on African men

The former trollop cum socialite recently took to social media to express her distaste at the idea of dating an African man and reason for this is due to her belief that Africa has nothing to offer but poverty.

I mean there’s nothing wrong with Huddah having standards or preferences. While I don’t think there’s anything wrong for her to say she doesn’t want to date an African man what I think is preposterous is for her to attempt to give relationship advice on the same matter.

Only foolish women would listen to Huddah’s relationship advice

You see as a former troll up who does perspective on the world is a rather damaged one. Chances are she dealt with a lot of African Johns and this left her scarred. Or perhaps it’s the fact that when she dealt with the African Johns they demanded value for their money and in a warped sense of reality she believe this to be a sign of poverty.

Whatever the case may be, Huddah Monroe giving relationship advice is about as laughable as the idea of her frenemy Vera Sidika giving celibacy advice.

Huddah is right about “dating” rich men

It cannot be denied that she has most likely dealt with high net worth. You can also not be denied that the nature of her interactions with isn’t exactly what a normal woman who isn’t a call girl would necessarily be seeking for themselves. So even if she can speak to the tastes of some very wealthy men in Dubai, she cannot speak to their relationship preferences.

So rather than getting triggered, my brothers and sisters, I would strongly recommend that you see this for the fast it is funny because of the irony of a call girl giving relationship advice and secondly because we have a single woman giving advice to other single men and women about what they need to seek from a relationship.

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Why is Huddah surprised Wahu and other celebrities look down on her?

Posted on July 7, 2022 by Ozymandias

Huddah is upset that Wahu Kagwi and her husband Nameless allegedly looked down on her when she was on her come up and the only person who is surprised about this development is her.

Huddah unapologetically goes after pregnant Wahu weeks after insulting Yummy Mummy

Think about it, this rather sexy femme fatale has one reputation and it is about how she found her way to economic prosperity and it all stems from her being an alleged heaux.

So help me understand why a woman who is rumoured to be a heaux is shocked that other celebrities and women, in general, wouldn’t look down on her… Better yet, explain that to Huddah.

“You can’t bring me down!” Huddah’s bitter clap back at Murugi Munyi for criticizing her beauty products

You see, when she was on her come-up, by her own admission, she was already a drug addict. That is not the kind of thing Kenyans are accustomed to nor the type of thing Kenyans will tolerate being around.

Wahu has also been married to Nameless for the longest time, of course, she wouldn’t be enthused about her being around her man nor would any man be excited about his woman hanging out with a heaux in case she gets ideas.

Huddah Monroe Explains Why She’d Rather Get Married To A ‘Bad Boy’ Than A Church Person (Screenshots)

Choices and decisions have consequences. And her decision from early on to be a socialite came with a certain level of social stigma. And the fact that she has harboured these feelings even after she became a success with her cosmetic company is something rather telling. Clearly, money isn’t the all-curing elixir a lot of people think it to be because why would she still be upset years on?

And Wahu and her husband have indeed moved on and are now growing their family even larger with a young daughter on the way and they seem to be going from strength to strength. Meanwhile, Huddah remains nursing her grudge against her and other Kenyan celebrities.

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Huddah’s big money play that made her a Kshs millionaire

Posted on April 6, 2022April 6, 2022 by Ozymandias

Huddah Monroe is not exactly known to be a luminary in any academic field but when it comes to business, you have to sit down in awe of her acumen. She saw a niche in the market and exploited it in such a commendable way, no Kenyan since has successfully repeated her moves.

Huddah Monroe Admits Buying Extra Property Just To Show Off On Social Media- ‘I Had A 5 Bedroom House And Lived Alone’

You see, she runs a cosmetic company, started off with her “lippies” which is basically lip gloss and has now been steadily expanding it to more variety in products, recently announcing she was now selling probiotic skin tonics and beauty soaps.

And this is no mean feat for a woman who came from the bottom dregs of society, a woman who for a long time had to depend on men to pay her way through life especially after she had experienced her glow up. She was a socialite for heaven’s sake. Huddah’s story just goes to show you that you too can change your circumstances.

Huddah Monroe Explains Why She Regrets Becoming Famous (Screenshots)

And now she’s the Star Gal who found an opportunity I am willing to tell you about so that maybe you too can follow in her footsteps. Did you know that you could go to China, identify a manufacturing plant creating beauty products and actually create your own brand from their generic product?

Look it up online. Or better yet, if you’re tight for capital, Alibaba has you covered. All you have to do is identify a brand you feel is actually of good quality and then begin to engage a company to handle your branding OR have the manufacturing plant handle that too for you. And that is the route Huddah took.

Lanes! Huddah flaunts sandals worth Ksh 140,000

With the former video vixen slash socialite slash provocateur, she was lucky enough to have a great eye for quality so she discovered something in a sea of options and as a result, almost all Kenyan women praise her products for their quality.

And how can you too get started and get your own line of beauty cosmetics going? Well, outside of the whole razzmatazz of creating a company and registering it, Co-op Bank has a product just for you! It’s called Chapa Pay.

Co-op Bank now runs an online card payment solution to make your business thrive at no extra cost. If you conduct business on digital platforms, you can receive online card payments from your customers.

You can accept payments from any location on the globe without a check-out platform integration or website.

Co-op Bank offers online payment solutions to businesses, giving them room to expand and venture across the borders. They are providing a secure and conducive platform to conduct business.

Here is a step by guide on how the online payments solutions work:

A business owner registers with Co-op Bank to get a unique link known as Pay-By-Link, which they use to invoice their clients.
A potential customer contacts the business owner and agrees on the desired good or service pricing.
Next, the business owner will send the unique payment link to the client’s emails address.
The customer receives the unique link via email. Upon opening the email, they are directed to a portal to input their card details and process the payments.
The trader receives a notification via email and SMS with the details of the payments.
If the customer has subscribed to SMS alerts with the service provider, they receive a notification informing them of the purchase.

How Ecommerce Solutions Work for Businesses With Mobile Apps and Websites

For businesses that have adopted mobile application (APPs) and web check-out platforms, the Pay-By-Link solution optimizes their operations and efficiency by offering a payment solution that provides the following to its customers:

Reliability: Once adopted by a business, the solutions operate 24/7.
Simplicity: Pay-By-Link solutions are easy, quick, and easy to implement.
Convenience: Customers can overcome geographical limitations and purchase goods and services from any location on the globe.
Safety: Co-op Bank eCommerce solution comes with a data security standard compliant payment card that ensures customer data security and safety.
Customer experience: Customers get 24/7 support with a dedicated relationship manager on standby.

What Are the Advantages of Co-op Bank Pay-By-Link Ecommerce Solution?

Small scale traders benefit a lot from the eCommerce solution, for they level their game with established businesses that have long dominated the eCommerce sector in regional and international markets.

Here are ways how small business owners benefit from the online payment platform:

Small and established businesses do not incur costs when onboarding the Pay-By-Link online solution.
All card payments come secured with two-factor authentication via 3D security protocols. Customer data and privacy are top priorities.
Dispute resolution is simplified. If a customer pays over the actual price, the seller can initiate a reversal of the payments from his end.
The hustle and bustle of involving the bank to mediate between the buyer and seller avoided making transactions more efficient.
Businesses have a secure platform to process their payments. After making a payment, a customer cannot initiate a reversal for the purchase made. The platform protects small businesses from theft.
The platform offers an avenue for accountability. A business owner can track transactions to view and reconcile payments in real-time via a single dashboard.

As an investor, you can now enjoy the benefits of cross-border trade as you transact on a safe, reliable, and efficient platform to grow your business.

Huddah has entered god-level socialite status as a yacht girl

Posted on March 26, 2021 by Ozymandias

Huddah Monroe is now a yacht club girl and my word, I must say that it truly is impressive to see this girl unlock this level of opulence and Haute living that she is currently residing in while on her trolloping mission in Dubai.

Huddah giving advice to men about being faithful is hilarious

For some context, so you can appreciate why this is a masterclass in finesse, Alhuddah Njoroge was born into poverty to a Kikuyu father and a Somali mother. The father soon abandoned his lady love and their love baby and so her mother had to struggle to raise her on her own.

When she finally became Huddah Monroe, it was after leading a difficult life that resulted in her losing some of her teeth. She first came onto the scene to flirt with stardom thanks to a stint on some KBC show then finally as a video vixen.

Huddah Monroe gives dating advice for low value women

From there, she took off as she showed a willingness to do anything to get on the scene. Soon enough, she was taking nude photos and was the quintessential party girl. Then came BBA Africa and she was cemented in the Kenyan entertainment scene.

Then she went full-on trollop and soon enough, had augmented her body to suit the fetishes she met on her travels. She got her ass and breasts done aswell as her teeth. Make no mistake about it, Huddah is a gorgeous woman but with these enhancements, she went to the next level o beauty.

‘But what’s your bank balance:’ Huddah trolling Tanasha Donna for celebrating her 3 Million followers?

And when Covid-19 hit, she found herself stranded in Dubai as travel back was banned. Blogs and whispers claimed she was stranded, having run out of money from her cosmetic business, the self-named Huddah Cosmetics as one would expect from getting stranded in an expensive destination at an expensive hotel.

And soon enough, as if on cue, we saw her party with wealthy men spraying her with champagne. And now, we are seeing her on yachts at the Bvlgari Yacht Club which is an exotic location indeed.

Huddah Monroe doesn’t want to be held accountable for her thottery

And so ons has to be impressed by just how well she has played her cards because she has managed to do what so many other socialites have pursued but fallen short of. She has unlocked a god-level of trolloping as these are international standards only open to rare beauties.

This has cemented Huddah as a fully-fledged 10 on the SMV scale. All that remains to be seen is how long she will breathe this rarified air. And if she will finally manage to get some legitimacy as Mrs So-and-So.

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Huddah giving advice to men about being faithful is hilarious

Posted on March 24, 2021 by Ozymandias

Huddah is back to making noise on social media even though she has been on some sort of self-imposed exile to Dubai where it was rumoured she was back to plying her original trade.

If Your Man Cheats On You, Do The Same To Him- Huddah’s Advice To Women

What is really amusing about her digital resurgence is that she has been doling out relationship advice as if she would know how a healthy and balanced relationship looks like if she got ensnared in one.

This time, she has set her eyes on infidelity. The irony of this isn’t lost on me and shouldn’t be lost on you either. Anyway, she recently gave women a word of advice when it came to dealing with wayward spouses or partners of varying degrees:

Ouch? Huddah on why she sells cheap and affordable make up products

”Men act like women don’t get d*ck thrown at them every minute. Every place they walk if there are men. It’s guaranteed some will want to hit. But we respect ourselves enough not to fuck around coz we respect our S.O…
”Cheating therefore or wanting to have multiple women is greed and lack of self control. What a man can do a woman can do. Even better. Women are just more respectful until respect is no longer served and they move… Temptations are everywhere for both men and women. Don’t act like we ain’t getting dick pics on the DM and thousands of men hollering at us but we chose one. Men cheating in should be an abomination in 2021. It shouldn’t be accepted…”

And while her current opinion is right in the vein of popular female thought, the truth is that it is not quite as logical as we pretend it to be. You see, while with women sex comes easy as it pursues them, men have to be worthy of sex in some way and fashion. Either through unmerited favour of genetics that make them tall, strong or handsome or through merited means such as earning a lot of money and amassing resources.

Huddah Monroe gives dating advice for low value women

So when a man makes himself high value, it goes without saying that women look on him favourably whether or not there is genuine desire. That is why marital status is not a hindrance when a woman decides she wants a sugar daddy. Or when a woman agrees to be a clande.

So when Huddah starts telling you that women and men that infidelity is the same for both genders, she is ignoring the fact that men and women aren’t entirely the same and do not even share the same burden of performance. It is indeed true that women get DMed all the time. Hell, they get unsolicited pictures of the male genitalia but it is also true that men do not seek in women the same thing women seek in men.

Huddah Monroe doesn’t want to be held accountable for her thottery

So all that male attention does little to increase the perceived value a woman has in a man’s eyes. And at the end of the day, if she chooses to act on them then she diminishes her value in his eyes -no high-value man wants a woman every man has been with.

In contrast to this, something I suspect Huddah actually knows all too well, women flock to men in part due to the amount of female attention they can manage to attract. It is called pre-selection and it explains why married men are so “attractive” to single women.

The only 2 ways socialites like Amberay and Huddah can afford their lifestyle

The main bone of contention here is for men to live by their word. If a man promises you fidelity, while it is against his mating strategy, he should stand by his word. That is honour. because if he knows he will not stand true to monogamy, then he should make that clear upfront.

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Huddah Monroe doesn’t want to be held accountable for her thottery

Posted on February 9, 2021 by Ozymandias

Huddah Monroe is a thought. I don’t think there is anyone in East and Central Africa not aware of the fact. She has actually been the one person doing the most to ensure her fame and reputation for the activities that would make her categorized as a heaux.

Finally! Huddah Monroe 2 months pregnant? She responds

When she first came onto the entertainment scene, it was as a video vixen who looked jacked up and skinny -that happens when you don’t have money and are starting out in a new profession. She even had teeth missing.

That is not how she made her name though. She made her name by creating Huddah as a brand of a lascivious woman who would not only post content that was overtly flirtatious but also straight-up nude pics. Add to that the fact that she actually came out to announce to the world that she used to sleep with old men for money and you can see why that reputation is like a stink that won’t go away.

Actually, what she said was,

“I wanna make one thing clear, I am not where I wanna be in life, but thank God I am not where I used to be. For me to take the decision that I wanna be independent and have seven businesses that I am running is because I was sick and tired of dating and f**king all these old rich men.”

Huddah Monroe reveals millions she has been minting from her X-rated Onlyfans online account

And now, she wants to get rid of that stench that she actively put on herself. So what now? Huddah only has herself to blame rather than focusing her energies outward towards the world. It is actually an almost hilarious situation if it weren’t so dire a situation.

Huddah is probably at a point in her life where she is meeting men who she wants to settle down with. She, however, cannot land these men because when they simply Google her names, whether it is Alhuddah Njoroge or Huddah Monroe, all that comes up are nude photos, links to Only Fans and her recounting her heaux escapades.

Huddah unveils scary photo from when she was drowning in drug addiction

So what can she do now that she wants to baptize the name and brand of Huddah? Well, for starters, she needs to go offline. Completely. No exceptions. Once she has achieved complete social media blackout, she needs to get into doing some CSR. By that I mean charity work.

And then she needs to continue to stay off social media because she will not win any war with her digital footprint. And she needs to come to terms with the fact that she created a monster of a reputation and that might never go away.

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Monkey business: Huddah Monroe playing herself by attacking Joe Muchiri

Posted on July 23, 2020 by Ozymandias

Huddah Monroe decided to launch into a rather ballsy but ultimately ill-advised attack on social media influencer Joe W. Muchiri in the latest instalment of their ongoing beef.

Joe Muchiri’s brilliant satirical tweet exposes Kenyan women’s greed

There was a time, in days gone by, when the two were on friendlier terms with them engaging in online banter but all that was forgotten when for some reason not clearly known to us, Joe Muchiri dragged her and thus began the new chapter of their relations with each other.

That aside, Huddah most recently put out a post questioning whether or not Joe Muchiri is finally a billionaire. This is a cheap shot at a man who lost his job at Capital FM and for most people, the assumption is that he is struggling -but he really is doing a lot better than he was before.

Former socialite Huddah admits having an addiction to marijuana (Photo)

her post which she has since deleted asked whether he had started a company that was successfully running or whether he was already a billionaire. The problem with this attack on Joe Muchiri is that it simply worked to play her.

Yes, Huddah played herself for a monkey and all that is because we caught a glimpse of how she has been surviving in Dubai since the quarantine lockdown and it gave a lot of credence to the fact that she is indeed a trollop.

Why are people shocked by what Huddah did on video?

So whatever Huddah says about running a cosmetics company, the fact still remains that because of this clear blemish to her image, she lacks the moral authority to mock anyone.

The smart play would have been for Huddah not to mention anything or try to shame someone who is genuinely out here hustling and attempting to improve their lot in life without having to resort to selling flesh. In doing so, not only did her attack fall flat, but Huddah ultimately played herself because she attacked someone every Kenyan can related with, the everyman.

Then again, at the end of the day, I am expecting high IQ behaviour from Huddah and perhaps I am the one who should have his coconut checked. But at the end of the day her recent actions have only served to lead to there being more scrutiny on her and her livelihood and that is not something she should want at the current moment.

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Why are people shocked by what Huddah did on video?

Posted on July 1, 2020 by Ozymandias

Kenyans were treated to a video of Huddah Monroe dancing and getting groped by some gentlemen of Arabic extraction and they went wild. One would have been forgiven for thinking that they were being treated to a video of a woman otherwise thought virtuous who was forced into a circumstance that was antithetical to her character.

Former socialite Huddah admits having an addiction to marijuana (Photo)

In truth, Huddah is a trollop and has been accused of being a trollop for the longest time so it really makes no sense for anyone to be busy acting like the video which was shared by Edgar Obare was a shock to the system. Or perhaps it was down to the fact that so many Kenyans had swallowed her reformed lady act and they were repulsed by the fact that she couldn’t do so.

But when we look at the facts, it makes sense that Huddah would still be plying the world’s oldest trade. And just like Vera, she was outed by her clients. Actually, I should have started here. Anyway, here we go. Huddah was outed by none other than her client who took videos of himself partying with Huddah and he shared them on his Instagram account.

Huddah Monroe’s smart response to male fan’s confession leaves Kenyans impressed (Screenshot)

And that is reminiscent to the way Vera Sidika was outed by her client turned boyfriend, Yommy Jones who himself was rumoured to be a Yahoo boy.

Anyway, after years of people whispering about and alleging the source of Huddah’s wealth came from her utilizing her best assets in horizontal endeavours, and this should put many Kenyans minds at ease. After all, didn’t popular influencer Joe Muchiri say what we already knew? But the Twitter squad rallied to Huddah’s side to defend her and now, he gets the last laugh when it really doesn’t matter.

Huddah exposed for stealing Ksh 4 million from a ‘Mzungu’ in the name of helping orphans in Mathare

And in truth, none of these revelations matters, because she is, isn’t exactly the type of lass whom many feel would be a lady or the bastion of prim and proper behaviour. She will continue to trollop and lie to young girls that this is a fun way to make money and travel around the world.

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Why Huddah could probably run for political office and win

Posted on May 6, 2020May 6, 2020 by Ozymandias

Huddah is known for being a socialite and in Kenya that is often a euphemism for a lady of ill repute. Whatever the case may be, she is someone who has captivated the nation for years. You will struggle to find a single Kenyan who has access to the internet who doesn’t know her.

Huddah has been involved in scandals as well as nonsense beefs but what can be said about this little lass is that she is resilient. She has managed to bounce back every time life has had her flat on her back -get your minds out of the gutter.

Stop reasoning like a bush monkey – Huddah addresses ´idle´ fan

When you think about it, Huddah is one of the personalities who would have a great chance at getting elected to political office if or rather when the fancy bites her. And she stands a great chance of actually giving any politician but mainly Esther Passaris a run for her money.
No really, Esther Passaris would really have to pull out all the stops if Huddah decided to vie for the Women’s Rep position.

You see, Kenyans love their politicians to be flamboyant and over the top and Huddah can satiate that need just as well as Mike Sonko does. She would be a lightning rod for all sorts of scandals and petty issues that would keep her electorate entertained. Let’s face it, Kenyans do not look for more in their political leaders.

Huddah Monroe´s reaction after her mum calls her out for misleading women

Huddah would be able to get all the randy politicians falling over themselves offering themselves and their resources for her cause. Why? Because these lazy, randy bunch would be vying to unbutton her pants and the thought that helping her out would mean she owes them a favour is what will dominate a lot of their brains.
Why? Because Kenyans do not look for more in their political leaders.

Also, a lot of male Kenyan voters do not understand the role of the Women’s Rep and often, they vote for whoever has the prettiest face. facts. And as a result, were Huddah’s face to appear on the ballot, many would vote for her either because they recognize her face or out of lust. Either way, I would bet the house that she would win. Why? Because Kenyan voters often do not have an agenda for their political leaders.

Huddah Monroe fires shots at slayqueens without brains – I can´t have an intelligent conversation with you

And the final reason why Huddah would win the Women’s Rep seat is because that seat is as useless as most of the politicians holding office in Kenya. So if we are going to keep the seat, it will naturally attract more useless political leaders and let’s face it, Huddah does not have an agenda.

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Huddah finally explains what happened to her tooth and how she managed to fix it

Posted on June 7, 2018 by Pauline Syombua

Kenyans had a soft laugh and a moment of fun awhile back after a rather shocking video of a toothless Huddah Monroe hit the internet. The video immediately went viral as Kenyans started comparing Huddah then and now.

The socialite has come out to share that she lost her tooth after an accident as a young lady. She added that money has made her happy since it helped her fix her grill.

New body parts

“These teeth cost lot and a lot of pain! Don’t judge anyone. I got an accident at age 14 lost all my front teeth. Did a whole HOLLYWOOD SMILE – Money can make you partly happy. Don’t stop hustling.” she said.

Fixing her teeth is not the only upgrade she’s done to her body. In 2016, she revealed that she got a boob job because she was insecure about her boobs. She has also done several surgeries on her body to stay curvy.