Harmonize and Kajala’s love story is a disaster in waiting

Harmonize and Kajala are back together again but I am going to go on record to say things are going to be utterly horrible and that’s even before they finally call it quits. The reason I am making this bold assertion is the fact that they have so many demons they are yet to deal with that will doubtless haunt them.

Actress breaks silence after ex Harmonize gets engaged to one of her close friends

Where to begin? Well, for starters, there is the fact that Frida Kajala was married before to a Bongo producer called Majani. That union was hit hard by problems and issues that they did not address on an individual level. How do I know this? Well, take a look at their daughter and the issues she’s had to deal with.

No really, for Harmonize, as a man, he needs to understand that the greatest predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour so if I were in his camp, I would be advising him to actually go and have a sitdown with is wife’s ex-hubby, the man whose child she chose to bear and raise. He has a lot of insight for him.

But who are we kidding, there is no way Bwana Konde Gang is going to do that because he has his own chaff to deal with. You see, he was caught up in quite the scandal just a few months ago while he was dating Kajala the first time around and he tried sleeping with her daughter. Remember that?

Harmonize’s girlfriend with daughter, Paula Kajala with her mum

No, Harmonize wasn’t trying to go after her friends or sister, he had his eyes set on her daughter and he was not shy about how he went about it either. Whereas most people would be calm and coy about it, making it almost like a dance, mandem first tried to railroad Paula’s then-boyfriend and current fiance, Rayvanny. He got him arrested over an accusation of statutory rape (even though she was actually 18 which is not only the age of majority in Tanzania but also the age of consent.

Harmonize Begs Kajala To Accept Him Back After Australian Ex-Girlfriend Dumped Him

Then it eventually wafted out (like a bad smell) that Harmonize had even been sending Paula pictures of his trunk (gerrit? Given we call him Tembo?) in all it’s saluting glory. Yup, Mr Mans was busy sending nudes to Frida’s daughter but she seems to have conveniently forgotten all that and is now willing to become his wife.

Harmonize abs replaced by rolls

I mean, I don’t know about you but this one fact completely muddies that waters to the point it is now just outright sewage in a bog in the middle of nowhere. So what would you do if you were in Frida’s shoes? I for one would not even entertain talking to Harmonize ever again but then again, I am a self respecting young Kenyan man so who am I to speak for what might just be the norm for Tanzanian women?

Still, this is already a bad precedent tey are starting off on. And one bad note is often followed by another util the entire orchestra is simply a musical disaster. And that is what I foresee for this couple. They are happy right now as they hysterically bond and share sweet nothings in front of the media’s cameras. But when everything is said and done, marriage is about more than just simply living your life for the gallery. You have to go home to this person and deal with them and their family and I am not entirely sure Harmonize will be able to behave himself around either Frida Kajala’s daughter or even her neices.

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What Paula Kajala’s father revealed about her shows the danger of single motherhood

Paula Kajala is the daughter of Frida Kajala, Harmonize’s ex whom he tried to (or did he actually manage to) sleep with and she is also the same girl who was involved in a scandal with Rayvanny.

Pierra Makena is being disingenuous about single motherhood

The thing about this girl that makes her the focus of my piece today is that she is the poster child of what happens to the child of a single mother when she doesn’t receive the direction a father provides whether in a stable house or through a co-parenting situation.

You see, Paula Kajala has a father who is a producer in Tanzania by the name of P-Funk Majani who is estranged from her. This man recently gave an interview in which he revealed that she had told him she doesn’t want a relationship with him and he has no choice but to oblige her.

Why Harmonize is really getting involved in Rayvanny’s woes

He, however, was very clear that the stuff she is getting herself involved in will not only ruin her but will bring a curse. He also proves that hindsight is 20/20 as he claims he regrets siring a child by Frida Kajala, a woman whom he feels has no business being a mother.

Harmonize’s girlfriend with daughter, Paula Kajala with her mum

Whether or not you agree with his decision not to get involved with his daughter’s life, the fact that she lacks discipline is a very real result of this man, Majani, not getting involved in the disciplining of Paula Kajala. And at this rate, she will soon go through the pains of being a single mother.

Harmonize hitting on Kajala’s daughter proves nice guys are scum

At the end of the day, whatever you might think is an issue with the situation, you have to agree that Frida Kajala is a terrible example to her daughter. How can we excuse the fact that she exposed her daughter to her fiance in the form of Harmonize? While she is not responsible for his bad behaviour, the tenets of motherhood, cast in iron, are that she needs to protect her daughter from the worst life has to offer including unscrupulous men. She failed at this task.

We have to realize that our feelings are worthless in this argument because science has documented and spoken to the situation and shows us that Paula Kajala would be better off with her father in her life. And according to a Safe Harbour study,

“Wewe ni mama mjinga” Activist tells Kajala after Rayvanny leaks private chats between Harmonize and Paula Kajala

90% of welfare recipients are single mothers
70% of gang members, high school dropouts, teen suicides, teen pregnancies, teenage drug abusers are from single mother households
63% of national suicides are done by individuals who grew up in single-mother homes
90% or runaway children are from single-mother households are from single mother households
85% of children with behavioural disorders are from single-mother households
80% of rapists motivated by displaced anger grew up in single-mother homes
85% of imprisoned youth grew up in single-mother homes

 

Feel free to look more into the statistics of why having both parents is important for children here.

Source: https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic

if her father were involved in her life, predatory men would have been kept at bay. His job would have been to keep the hyenas off his daughter. She wouldn’t be the butt of jokes at this very moment. She wouldn’t be the footnote of the musical releases Harmonize is working on even as he shares the eggplant emoji.

‘You Are My Rock’ Kajala Pens Down Passionate Message To Lover Harmonize On His Birthday

The truth is, Frida Kajala has failed in her role as a mother but we expected no less from a single mother who herself is out to do anything for her time in the spotlight. And we need to actually take the time to take in this situation and learn from it as men. You do not want your daughter exposed to the type of nonsense Paula Kajala is. That doubtless makes P-Funk Majani feel like a failure. It hurts him enough to actually decide to cut off all his ties to his daughter.

 

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Learning from female celebs: Don’t date her if she’s heavily active on social media

When you look at female celebs like Anerlisa Muigai, Frida Kajala, This is Ess, Karen Nyamu or Amberay the one thing they have in common is that they are very open about their relationships.

“Wewe ni mama mjinga” Activist tells Kajala after Rayvanny leaks private chats between Harmonize and Paula Kajala

The second thing they have in common is failed relationships that were publicised and cast to all our social media timelines because they are the ones who opened up their relationships for the adoring public to witness and experience.

Amberay

I would have added Yummy Mummy to that list of female celebs but to be fair, she quickly read the script and decided to leave her relationship off her social media brand content. So in the face of new evidence, I shall adjust my opinions accordingly.

Karen Nyamu leaves tongues wagging after throwing insults at Samidoh for rejecting her

Anyway, these female celebs do not seem to learn from each other’s failures nor do they have any sort of introspection and as a result, we are always so well informed as to what it is that is going on in their relationships. We know when things are great and we know when the relationship has gone belly up without them ever having to confirm anything. This is usually because when there is a problem, they delete their man off their page. When they are sad because of “bae”, they share fake inspirational quotes.

NERO company CEO, Anerlisa Muigai

But as they say,

sicut superius et inferius.

Or you know, as we plebs would say it, “As above, so below”.

That means that when you are into a girl and you notice that just like Kenyan celebs, she is into posting everything on her social media account, that is a huge red flag as to why you shouldn’t date her. And we can really base the entire argument on what we know about Kenyan celebs and their failed marriages.

Why Kenyan women are posting more thirst traps on Instagram

#1. Not one influencer can claim that having their relationship out in the public strengthened it

The reason why this is not a thing, is because now you have to also weigh the opinions of your social media inlaws. We invite the burden of their expectations and also attempt to sell them an illusion. If you have more than a lukewarm IQ, then you know that relationships are not a walk in the park. They have a lot of ups and downs and every day you’re in one is a decision to maintain it.
You however lose the freedom to navigate the issues in your relationship and work out a solution in privacy. So imagine having an issue with your girlfriend who posts everything on social media and then her followers start telling her to move on and find a better guy… Why bother even getting into this position with her to begin with?

The Amberay situation shows modern women don’t even know how to be co-wives

#2. It opens new avenues for insecurities to seep in

If your girlfriend is either an influencer or she is always following what her favourite influencers are doing, then you’re familiar with the headache of having her compare herself and her life to what she sees online. These are also the girls in my class who get upset when bae likes another girl’s photos.

Sharon-Mundia
Sharon-Mundia

And woe on you if she follows these relationship influencers. She starts packing on the drama and pressure because This Is Ess was given a helicopter ride before she was proposed to. And lets face it, younger women are more impressionable than their older counterparts so you can imagine the headache you’d have to contend with. She wants to go out on a date to the same expensive place her friend was at and posted to her IG stories. So why bother? And that is on the more mild side of things.

Amberay financial times: stop taking advice from socialites

#3. It heightens competition anxiety

That was the last thing you want. Every time you post something and get a couple of likes, every time you like another girl’s post or when you ignore hers, she immediately assumes it is because you have a romantic interest in her. Or having to constantly assure your partner that you’re still into her but you still like the risque photo that her friend posted -innocently.

Imagine if she loves thirst trapping men online? Or she has an Only Fans account? Now your sanity is constantly tested when she posts herself and a whole host of horny men shoot their shot. How then can you create a successful relationship? You can’t.

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