2020 has been a hell of a roller coaster year. Most of the year got cancelled from education to entertainment and only corruption, looting of public coffers and politics remain uncancelled what with the way Uhuru and Ruto have busied themselves with their bullshit rallies.
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2020 however, was a great year for thots and slay queens with OnlyFans providing them with a fantastic way to make up for their lost income given the country was under lockdown and their uncles and sponsors had to be home with their wives.
Additionally, this was also the year when a lot of relationships started up with all these shots finally hunkering down and dating the formerly “useless” neighbours and bestfriends in the friendzone. Tinder was alight with women who had recently lowered their standards looking for “partners” and potential boyfriends.
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However, I am here to ensure the lads do not fall for this nonsense. Gentlemen, we need to learn to see the telltale signs the object of your wildest desires, that girl that was way out of your leagues until Covid-19 and 202 happened is actually not worth your effort because from the streets she came and unto the streets she shall return.
And the signs that you are messing with a heaux that belongs to the streets in 2020 have evolved as life shifted to engage more online what with the near-total ban on movement that the year began with when Covid-19 was being touted by the government of Kenya include:
1. She is a “free spirit”
Any lass who describes herself as a free spirit in 2020 belong to the street. These are the girls who conflate sexual liberation with promiscuity, forgetting that the ultimate form of control isn’t to be an easy lay but rather to transcend your animalistic desires to the point where they no longer enslave you.
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2. She listens to Cardi B
And chances are her ringtone is W.A.P so need I say more? Actually, I will say more. If she listens to Meg the Stallion, she belongs to the streets. Do not waste your time here. These are the type of ladies who get impressed by a man buying them some alcohol to the point their brains are disengaged and their viscosity is engaged.
3. She thinks showing her skin on social media is “loving herself”
In 2020, every time a girl posts about loving herself, she is either fat and in the throws of deluding herself that she feels positive about her size or she is “healing” after a break-up and the final reason is that she has convinced herself that being a “free spirit” is the same as “loving herself and living her best life”. Don’t debate me, go and ask your sister. Such women seek external validation and one of the formats they do so is by declaring that they love their lives. People who love their lives are too busy actually living their lives to front like this. And trust me when I say that those thirst traps are actually put online with the sole intent of attracting men and validation through likes. No man wants to claim a woman who posts her naked photos online for the world to see. But you know, delude yourselves queens.
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4. She refers to herself as bossgirl, bossbitch, diva or queen
This one will hurt several young men because their baby mamas are the very same women whom I am speaking about. These are the girls who count twerking as a hobby, talent and interest. These are the girls who you will find on Xtiandela’s Club Covid dancing erotically and when you check out their Tinder bio it reads that she is not her body and must be respected. They cultivated their sexuality as their only agency so it should come as no surprise that even your friends have slept with your baby mama now should it lad?
5. She sets standards her own father cannot meet
This is the worst of the worst on this list. She lives in some one bedroom apartment with her parents and siblings but when it comes to dating, she demands that you should already be driving a Range Rover -the one and same that her father has made a living of washing. These ladies are the worst snobs, refusing to even consider the guy at her level who has vision and ambition yet her only ambition is to drop it like it’s hot for the son of that politician who stole our money.
They often have such garbage accents that they have harsh “r”s even where there is no “r” believing that doing so will make her fit in with those cool kids who studied at Hillcrest.
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