Royal Vee Breaks Hearts by Revealing Her Husband

Attention all thirsty online daters! Fashion icon Royal Vee has officially thrown in the towel and said “I do” (mostly because swiping right was getting exhausting).

Yes, folks, the queen of perfectly curated feeds has surprised everyone by revealing a shocking truth: she has a HUSBAND! Apparently, under all that flawless makeup and designer threads lives a woman who, like the rest of us, enjoys overpriced coffee dates and awkward small talk.

Who is this mystery man, you ask? Well, that’s part of the hilarious mystery. Vee, the master of online intrigue, has kept her new hubby shrouded in more secrecy than a government spy recipe. All we know is that he rocks a killer purple suit and apparently owns a hat collection that rivals the Queen of England.

The wedding photos themselves are a glorious explosion of color, like a bag of Skittles exploded in a field of sparkly maroon fabric. Vee looks radiant, obviously, and her groom seems mildly terrified (but hey, commitment is scary!).

The internet, naturally, is in a frenzy. Fans are congratulating Vee on finding someone brave enough to handle her legendary shoe collection and her even more legendary indecisiveness when choosing a restaurant.

Meanwhile, some commenters are already eyeing the groom with suspicion, wondering if he knows what he’s gotten himself into. (Spoiler alert: endless outfit changes, spontaneous photo shoots, and a life documented for millions to see.)

One thing’s for sure: Royal Vee’s wedding is the most delightfully unexpected event of the year. Here’s to hoping their love story survives the constant barrage of #couplegoals selfies and the ever-present pressure to look flawless online. Just remember, folks, even influencers gotta find love (and someone to help them choose a filter).