Abel Mutua: “When Love Fades, It’s Friendship That Holds You Together”
Image: Black love: Abel Mutua with wife, JudyProlific screenwriter, filmmaker, and digital content creator Abel Mutua believes that while love may fade with time, true friendship is what sustains lasting romantic relationships.
The father of one recently shared heartfelt advice to young couples, urging them to ensure that the person they plan to settle down with is not just a lover, but a genuine best friend.
“Before you commit to a relationship, make sure that person is your best friend first,” Abel said. “People underestimate how much friendship can impact a relationship. When love isn’t enough, it’s friendship that carries you through.”
Abel emphasized that while love brings passion and excitement, friendship brings stability and support—especially in difficult seasons. He noted that over time, the spark that fuels romance may naturally fade, but if a couple shares a strong friendship, they’ll be able to weather any storm together.
“There’s a sweetness in friendship. Even when love feels distant, your best friend shows up for you—even if it’s just by walking beside you through it,” he shared.
Speaking in a mix of English and Swahili, Abel added:
“Lazima akuwe rafiki wako wa dhati kwanza before muanze kukimbizana kwa kitanda.”
(“They must be your true friend before you start rushing into physical intimacy.”)
He reflected on how many couples start out deeply in love, but ten or fifteen years down the line, emotions evolve and priorities shift. That doesn’t mean the relationship is over—it’s just entering a new phase.
“Don’t let anyone lie to you that ten or fifteen years into marriage, you’ll still be doing all the lovey-dovey things like going to the bathroom together. That stuff ends. And when it does, what keeps you together is that friendship bond,” Abel said with a chuckle.
The celebrated storyteller, often seen with his wife Judy Nyawira and daughter Mumbus, speaks from experience—offering a refreshing reminder that the strongest relationships are built not just on love, but on deep-rooted friendship.
