Double Standards: Why women’s sexual past is ALWAYS under scrutiny

Khalif Kairo and his new “wife”, Wavinya Maria are currently under scrutiny after Kenyans found out some salacious facts about her past with an employer only known as Wang. The conversation started on X and brought into focus an alleged past involving her alleged propensity to sleep with wealthy men.

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Once the conversation had taken off, feminists attached their wagon to it and made it about the shaming of women for their sexual past and they rightfully pointed out that this is an example of double-standards run amok.

A Matter of Respect: Rethinking Our Approach to Women’s Sexual History

Thing is, it is a double standard. One that is a vestige of a past whose realities were very stark and the consequences of paternity fraud and sexual immorality were an “in your face” danger. So our ancestors evolved a repulsion to the notion of promiscuity. We see this in various cultures and religions around the world. And this stood for both genders.

That said, it is far more egregious for women to be promiscuous than men. Biology stands by this double standard as does Mother Nature. That is before we go down to societal issues that stamp this truth.

A study carried out in 2013 (before the woke cancer had metastasized in pop culture and scientific research) had found a link between sexually promiscuous individuals and mental health issues. But it had this caveat:

 “This study established a strong association between number of sex partners and later substance disorder, especially for women, which persisted beyond prior substance use and mental health problems more generally.”

You can find the study here:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3752789/

And yet another study by Cathryn H. Mainville, MSEd, LMHC, from the Division of Psychiatry at the Boston University School of Medicine, and colleagues conducted a randomized clinical trial examining HIV prevention in a mentally ill and homeless or marginally housed population. This study made an even stronger assertion linking mental health problems to female promiscuity.

And they summed everything up neatly as: Sexually risky behavior more common in women with mental disorders than in men. WHO WANTS A MENTALLY UNSTABLE WIFE?

But an even more pressing reason why society examines women’s sexual past even more closely is that women who have been promiscuous in their past are very terrible partners for long-term mate strategies -basically dating and marrying.

There is a direct correlation between the number of past lovers one has had to reported happiness in marriage and eventually to divorce rates. And the gender dynamic here is that it is far lower for women than it is for men. What I mean to say is that the more men a woman has had sex with in her past, the more likely she is to have an unhappy marriage and file for divorce -and make no mistake about it, women file for far more divorces than men.

Along similar lines, sociologist Jay Teachman showed that premarital sex between future spouses didn’t make divorce more likely, but sex with other people did.

WHO WANTS TO MARRY KNOWING THEY HAVE A HEIGHTENED RISK OF DIVORCE?

Khalif Kairo comes into focus because he is a convenient vehicle for this conversation. He claims to have married Wavinya Maria after only 4 years of dating. And we saw him get exposed during his pre-planned lifestyle interview with Mungai Eve.

Khalif Kairo becomes a rather interesting surrogate for this conversation also due to his spotty dating track record. Lad does indeed date some stunners. But those relationships always fizzle out after he introduces those ladies as serious paramours. This instance for sure features a lady whose past came as a shock both to the bloke and to us as both willing and unwilling voyeurs into their love life – because they publicize their relationship.

This leads us to the conversation of poor decision-making. A woman who is promiscuous has no value for herself. She will have kissed a lot of frogs before meeting her prince charming and surely, which self-respecting man wants that for himself?

WHO WANTS A WIFE THAT HAS A HISTORY OF SHITTY DECISION MAKING?

These three reasons should give an idea as to why the question of body count is an important one. And one that will never end. Double standards are an uncomfortable fact of life and some are benign, some are good, others bad. They exist. What we need to to do is get over them and see the rationale behind some of them.