GHAFLA IS THE KING! But Wait….Here Are The 7 Greatest Misconceptions About Ghafla….You Know,The Great Lies People Love Spreading About Us.

Ghafla has been around for as long as you can remember – Ok,maybe not that long but surely,long enough to warrant that statement. The website has grown by leaps and bounds,starting off as a meager lyrics website and slowly morphing into an entertainment site and finally growing into the showbiz behemoth it is today,imitated,envied,loved,loathed and duplicated by many.

After the advent of Ghafla,and the website’s unrepentant dominance of the entertainment Industry,becoming the single most powerful force that drives the nation’s showbiz agenda,many other sites sprung up,to try and amass the same following as Ghafla – or annex it- and to try and cash in on the craze,stupidly attempting to edge out the force that is Ghafla,with disastrous results.

The site has been through many phases,has been up for grabs for a minute and has had rich showbiz fatcats salivating over it,only to be unable to own it and then end up forming their own Ghafla-esque sites in a bid to steal away the thunder – still,it was a massive fail and it was meant to be.

Invincible and indomitable,the site soldiers one,not deterred by the mass exodus of some of its staff,or the sleaze or the slander or the cheap,diversionary attempts to sink it and obliterate it.

The lion has never roared louder. The bear has never been more ferocious.

With the urgency of a Royal butler and the industriousness of a bee,articles keep coming- controversial,bizarre,outrageous,shocking,hilarious,bold and true.

And then all of the other little sites,run by little blokes with little brains,and absolutely no skills whatsoever,copy the content and splash it across their little sites,shameless and faceless,brainless and unethically.

Still,the fire never dies down in the Ghafla forte. It never will.

7 MAJOR MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT GHAFLA …..

1. We Destroy Careers
Oh please. Don’t even flatter yourselves. Ghafla has no business destroying careers because,half of the people we are writing about don’t even have tangible careers to speak about. Just a clumsy occupation with hope and flimsy artistry. We are in the business of reporting the truth. And nothing but that. You’re in the business of staying in the right side of history – all the time. Ghafla is not obligated to protect personalities and to guard people from being hurt. Far from it. You’d need to pay us for that anyway. We are here to write it as it is. Report it as it happened. A career or two may go down. But that’s definitely not why we are in business. And if you had a career you really cared about,you wouldn’t be such a dumb ass now would you? Good luck,mate.

2. We Thrive On Negativity
Says who? We thrive on food. And on money. And certainly on a good scandal,why? Yes! But certainly,we don’t wake up in the morning to try and be negative. Not unless we had cassavas for dinner. Or raw beetroot. We wake up in the morning to inform the readers in what’s Trending and what’s not. That’s what we are paid to to anyway. Negativity only seeps in when the subjects of our articles don’t conduct themselves in the sort of manner that warrants any respectability and honor. So you were caught having a quickie in a toilet in Westlands? So you hired the least qualified makeup artist for your wedding? So your fabulous wedding has speed crashed into a divorce? So you were the last ka-girl who was last seen with some amorous billionaire moments before he has executed in cold blood? Gangland style? Tell me how I am supposed to stay positive when ya’ll so full of crap? Man! It would hurt my nerves.

3. Ghafla Writers Are Paid Ksh. 7,000.
This nonsense was started by that perennial whiner and Twitter scumbag Cyprian Nyakundi. And folks almost believed the lie. Oh come on! Even your mother, who didn’t go too far in her tertiary classes,will tell you that that kind of salary is unsustainable in the current Nairobi we are living in. But when Nyakundi is livid with Ghafla,which is all the time,he loves to float around that fallacy. Pooh Pooh. Guys here make enough money to school your little brothers. And to buy your Daddy sole new pair of bedsheets. We ain’t going to go into the details of what guys here pocket. But rest assured,with my salary,I can comfortably steal your girl – and her girls – and hire you to lick my butt as I pound her. Checkmate.

4. We Publish Lies
Yaaaaaawn. As if,98% of what we publish is not accompanied by a screenshot or a photo or some form of evidence. But still,some rats will never stop believing that we write lies. Whatever that means. Listen,99.99% of what’s published on this site has been approved and brainstormed and confirmed and authenticated before it goes up. And you’ll never miss a little pic or some screenshot or some email or just a link to corroborate the story. That’s a given. 100%. And for the love of Christ,we are Ghafla. Not some pocket blog in Maralal run by some goat-keeping Samburu teenage boys. We don’t lift stuff. Or copy and splash of across our site like 90% of these other tramps do. We actually take time to sit our butts down and do an article. In the office. All day. Don’t get me pissed man. Don’t even start.

5. We Are Gutter Writers
LOL. Not unless your elder sister,who now hawks second-hand curtains in Kamukunji Market,paid for my college,then you wouldn’t know I actually went THROUGH college. I see the lies all the time. ‘Ghafla writers are not even trained writers’. Psssh. Go tell that to your auntie’s cats. You have a better chance of getting attention from them than from us. From Sue Watiri to Martin Oduor to Anthony Irari,guys here have been to college. Sat through it for years and graduated with sterling grades. But you wouldn’t know that,oh lover of sleaze. We’ve been there,done that. Sat through final papers and CATs and the whole goddam system. We’d have given you references. But you ain’t that worth it,little trifling hater. Keep pandering the lie. It looks better on you.

6. You Can Silence Us
Alot of people falsely think they can silence Ghafla. Or the writers here. Hahahahaha. Little miss piggy boy. You can’t. Just quit trying. We’ve seen ”Celebrities” walk into the Ghafla office to try and cause a scene. To try and act all tough and shit . We’ve seen them come here,with their equally stupid gang of boys and crap. Trying to ask, ” Where’s that Cabu Gah? ” or ” Who is that Sue Watiri??? ” or something. LOL. Just crawl back to your misery,son. Nobody here is scared. Jeez. Not me, at least. Threats may work on members of your extended – mostly unemployed – family. But not with us. NEVER with us. Got an issue you wanna raise? Fine. Just make a decent phone call like the decent man – or woman – you imagine you are. Try going commando on us and we will remind you that were are NOT allergic to a little trouble. Little sissy boy.

7.We Are All About Ratchetness

Of course if all you care about is titties and butts and twerking videos,you will never see beyond your own kinky obsession and discover that,Ghafla,actually, does more un-ratchet related content than ratchet-related content. Sure,this is an entertainment site,not a betting website and sure,you won’t lack your dose of those titties and butts and all manner of crazy behavior our girls are so adept at displaying. But we also write about some couple that got married over the weekend. Some Kenyan Hollywood girl that won this and that Award. Something the President did. Some protesters that were clobbered black and blue. Some TV girl that was booted from the job. Some singer that is Pregnant and some celebrity whose just welcomed their new baby. Or third baby. But that’s ratchet to you too,I guess. And,really,there’s very little we can do to save the situation. And don’t even celebrate yet. We are unapologetic for the material you consider ratchet on this site. For as long as girls will continue striping naked for Twitter,as long as girls will continue baring it all for Instagram LIKES,as long as wild parties will continue getting out of control and as long as college kids keep confusing their cars for hotel rooms,we shall be here,writing those stories,gleefully and passionately. If only to piss you off. If not to inform you. Ouch.

Aaaaand there you have it,we just won the Award for Entertainment Blog of the Year at the recently-concluded BAKE Awards. Eat that,kids.

We’ve got NO apologies. We never will.