CABU GAH DIARIES: Hate Her Or Love Her,Victoria Kimani WAS Right! Kenyan Fans Are A Sick Joke! Nigeria Is The Way To Go…Seriously.

Victoria Kimani,the glamorous Kenyan sexpot kicked up quite a storm earlier this week by suggesting that Kenyans DO NOT support their own. And that,around here,Showbiz is the toughest trade you could ever indulge in. Well,whether we like it or not, or like her or not, SHE WAS RIGHT. 100%.

After making her very candid observations on Twitter, ‪#‎KOT‬, that famously idle gang of troll-loving potentates,jumped on her. And, in no time, made her a trending topic.. Much to her glee,anyway.

Victoria is one of the best Kenyan performers… I’ll call her a performer for now. Not a singer because,really, the rats in your uncle’s granary can pull a better tune than this Los Angeles-born Nollywood project. Why? Her vocals are not the strongest, her songwriting skills are somewhat wanting and in most cases, you cannot even hear what a sister is saying. But still,she does sound really sexy in her songs. And does a very good job at enchanting thirsty men and driving women wild with green envy… With that body, those moves, those bedroom eyes and that outlandish lifestyle. Ahhh, the Queen.

Victoria, unlike Wahu or Amani,is in fact not so big a name in Kenya. Heck, she doesn’t even live around. Ever since she broke into the scene, she relocated to Nigeria almost immediately partly because she wanted to see her career handled MUCH more professionally and maybe also because she felt that she had NO chances of growth and stardom in this little, dark celebrity-hating Country. And can you fault her? No!

Ever since she migrated to the Capital Of African Entertainment,Victoria had been doing good. Infact, very good. She’s kicked up quite a storm, performed at major African cities and music bonanzas,gotten the attention – and admiration-of pretty much whoever she wanted, got to collaborate with huge African superstars, got mentions in huge Naija pop songs(Gallardo, Runtown) and blogs and got nominated to SERIOUS Awards across the continent. Her star has NEVER shone brighter. And a sister has never flown higher. Really.

Had Victoria chose to stick her sexy ass in this loveless, Showbiz-strapped nation, she’s probably still be some struggling singer hassling for shows and minor appearances at Blankets and Wines and Sarakasi Dome and some barely-attended gigs at Alliance Francaise.

Had Victoria chose to stick her sweet bum around… And do music purely geared for the Kenyan audience (as if there is any) she’d probably be some washed-up little girl hankering for performances on creaky Kenyan stages and shows… She’d probably be struggling to pay some unscrupulous DJ to have her music played and would probably be releasing the sort of trash music videos half of our local artists are famous for releasing… Music videos so bad you want to chop up the Director and feed his sorry ass the the hounds.

But Victoria was SMART. Or at least her handlers were. And, knowing just want a waste of energy the Kenyan Showbiz industry really Is, she opted out. And decided that,for me to shine and be noticed and rise to the very top, for me to win Continental awards and have state-of-the-art music videos and reach as many fans as possible, I have to fly out of this dark, dry jungle as fast as I can… I’ve gotta find myself a REAL Showbiz industry, I’ve gotta align myself with REAL music makers and managers and I’ve gotta move to the REAL capital of entertainment…Where I am guaranteed REAL fans…Not the sort of worthless lamebrains who parade themselves as ‘fans’ around here.

And off to Nigeria she left. And what a soaring success has she been since then.

Victoria was roundly – and very unfairly-bashed on Twitter buy an angry lot that was so dumb and out-rightly stupid they choose to look over her sincere sentiments and quickly turned her into a punchline… An object of Internet vitriol and a target of 24-hour trolling. She was bashed for her music,bashed for relocating to Naija, bashed for being relatively unknown and bashed for not being as big-or talented-as popular Naija singer Yemi Alade.

And yet, Victoria was right. Absolutely RIGHT.

Kenya is a country that shows VERY LITTLE support to its own until they make it big-elsewhere.

Kenya is a country that had very little time for local productions and all the time for imported Hollywood Entertainment movies,series,comedies, music,reality shows.

Unlike in Uganda itself,where the likes of Chameleon and Bee Cool and Bobi Wine enjoy a cult status, encircled by millions of diehard fans and hard-core supporters, or in Tanzania where the likes of Ali Kiba, Diamond and Wema Sepetu enjoy a similar amount of maddening fan frenzy… With millions of star-struck fans who will kill for them and prostrate in front of them, Kenya is full of unconcerned,cold ‘fans’ who will ‘love’ you today and trash you tomorrow, ‘fans’ who won’t buy your CD even after showing up for its launch, ‘fans’ who are too cheap-or stingy-to pay you decent money at the concert gate, ‘fans’ who will dismiss you before they’ve been heard you and fans who will always think they’re better than you. And who always feel like they can sing, act, dance or talk better than you.

Kaligraph Jones should be as big as Sarkodie by now… Of it bigger. But where’s the Love?

Uganda’s Chameleon is a god in his Country but what about our Redsan? Who started out with the same Chameleon?

Kanumba,a young Tanzanian actor,had his funeral attended by thousands upon thousands of grief-stricken Tanzanians, some of who perched on trees and others passed out on the roads, but how many Kenyans are making elaborate plans to attend Mzee Ojwang’s pending funeral?

Ours is a dirty,filthy,cold, heartless industry full of trash and hate and cheap fans and trolling and bullshit. Ours is NOT even an Industry, it’s absolute rubbish. It’s pure crap…As far as sincere fans are concerned.

Aye,Victoria,keep shining,keep winning and keep getting that mullah… At least you were smart enough, you got out before it was too late. And look how far you’ve come. All WITHOUT our stupid support. And basic mentality.

Miss Kimani was RIGHT; Kenyans, as far as local music-or artistic output- is concerned, are a cheap, loveless, cold, evil useless lot.

No one who takes their career seriously should bother singing for Kenyans. Or even living with us.

I mean,she was recently crowned the MOST DOWNLOADED Female Artiste In Africa at the Coke Studio! Who do you think downloaded her music? Kenyans? Hahahaha. Stop kidding yourself,Kid. Please.

Migrate to Nigeria if you can… Or south Africa. Or Wherever.. Cuz down here, you will die faster than you thought,down here, you will find NO love and no loyalty, down here, you will remain basic and plain and dumb, down here, you’ve got EVERYTHING to lose.

Look at Nameless… Look at Wahu… Look at Juacali… Look at Amani… Look at Nonini… Look at Big Pin… Look at Mr Lenny… Look at Naiziz..Look at Bamboo…Kenyan legends who almost everyone seems to have forgotten… Legends who we don’t listen to anymore… Legends who have to remind us that they’re legends, legends who are all struggling to make a comeback and be taken seriously again. And then look at their fellow legends in Uganda. Or Nigeria. Or Tanzania.

Weep, Beloved Country. Thou are a bunch of useless souls. Woe unto he who puts their hopes on us. Woe unto him.