And Now, The 2015 Results Are Out. This Is The 2015 Man Of The Year, Song Of The Year, Woman Of The Year, Scandal Of The Year And More. (Photos)

The beautiful year is fast coming to a close. It was eventful… Full of brilliant moments, shocking and saddening ones too. It’s an year that started off with the shocking death of Fidel Odinga, Raila Odinga’s first born son and also the presumed heir of the family name and fortunes.

Internationally, it’s an year that kicked off with the shocking terror attack of the French Magazine’s Charlie Hebdo offices where a dozen comics and cartoonists were murdered in cold blood by Islamic extremists prompting an international outpouring of reactions and unprecedented support.

Locally, it was also a very dramatic one. Many new figures were launched onto our faces this year including the latest media sensation Steve Mbogo he of the Ksh. 500,000,000 Karen House that turns out to be as fake as everything else he’s peddled since he burst into the limelight.

It was a very eventful year on Twitter too… With many shocking releases of sexual audios and videos keeping the Twitteratti busy for weeks on end.

Many weddings went down too. Some very publicized and hugely anticipated and some very shocking and shrouded in mystery.

2015 also saw the birth of many celebrity kids including that of Tanzanian superstar Diamond complete with her own fast-growing Instagram account.

Many musical beefs were started by our own artists via Facebook and Twitter too and many punchlines were thrown,many jabs traded and many accusations peddled.

It’s also an year that saw one of the bloodiest and worst terror attacks on Kenyan soil that saw close to 150 innocent Christian students of Garissa University lose their lives in a dastardly terror invasion that took hours to come to an end.

We were also uncharacteristically plunged into some historic darkness after our Television sets were dramatically shut down for a whole month citing Digital Migration stipulations making us miss most of our favorite programmes and news and much more.

Much happened. Most of it funny, shocking, sad, unbelievable, sweet, historic, detestable and crazy.

Let’s break down the Year. And see who OWNED the Year. One step at a time.

1. MOMENT OF THE YEAR – Obama Homecoming

Nothing was as more anticipated as the historic Homecoming of the POTUS. He’s half -Kenyan anyway and millions of adoring Kenyans couldn’t wait to see their own son,now the MOST POWERFUL man in the World,come to visit them and eat and laugh with them. Obama’s visit was hugely anticipated with our media houses falling over themselves to offer the widest and most intensive coverage of this visit. Roads were closed,Kenyans went abuzz and the whole Government almost fighting over a chance for a photo moment and an opportunity to meet and talk to the man. Obama almost brought the Country to a standstill. His effects still felt even weeks after he had left. Historic.

2. SONG OF THE YEAR – Mercy Masika ‘Mwema’

No song took over the airwaves quite like Mercy’s soulful jam did. Sang with impeccable vocals,brilliant songwriting and a jumpy,catchy tune,Mwema took over everything driving crowds wild even in the dingiest and sleekiest of nightclubs. Mwema was everyone’s favorite song. It was your favorite artist’s favorite song. DJ’s made a kill out of it. And Mercy towered like a colossus with it. Everywhere she performed it,audiences ruptured in wild excitement and glee. Jumping to their feet and singing along to it. Word by word. Note by note. Mwema was huge. And mighty classic.

3. WORD OF THE YEAR – Hotbed

This word wasn’t even coined by a Kenyan. It was coined by the ever-malicious CNN gang that sought to downplay Obama ‘s historic visit and juxtapose it with Kenya’s supposed terror insecurity. They maliciously called Kenya a‘ Hotbed of terror ‘promoting a huge outcry from all Kenyans and even from the Government itself. Twitter went ablaze immediately after with irate Kenyans slamming the media house so hard that the CNN President had to personally fly in and make a personal apology to Uhuru Kenyatta at state house. After that,the word Hotbed became hugely overused. But for positive reasons now. Even the President himself using it in his speech at the Obama Business summit meet.

4. BEEF OF THE YEAR – Bahati and Willy Paul

Around April this year,Bahati took to Facebook to try and expose his nemesis Willy Paul as a cheat,a con, a musical thief and a dishonest Gospel artist. And then the World came to a standstill. The media jumped on the story and milked it dry. Many interviews were conducted,many industry players called and talked to. Celebrities took to Instagram to ask the two artists to bury their hatchet. Willy Paul even went underground for a while. The beef escalated at the Groove Awards where, after Bahati won everything,including Best Female Artist,Willy Paul stormed out of the auditorium in a rage. Things did thaw a little later after that. But boy, was that a dramatic beef.

5. SCANDAL OF THE YEAR – Mugo wa Wairimu Clinical Rape

I was going to give that honor to disgraced Pastor Pastor Nganga after the fatal Limuru accident he caused but Mugo’s libidinous antics beat him to this one. Evelyn Wambui sensationally exposed this Jubilee blogger man as a quack medic who not only didn’t have certified permission to operate a clinic but was also raping his female patients all along. And there was a video to prove that. A shocking, shocking video. What followed was massive social media upheaval. People in Githurai even gathered at his clinic attempting to raze it down. Mugo took the fight to Facebook where he, from a hideout,waged a severe war against Citizen TV,supported by his super stupid gang of fanatics. He was later arrested at some Hotel in Limuru from where he had hid for weeks. Sure, this was a Scandal.

6. CLOWN OF THE YEAR – Paul Kobia

This is the Congolese Clown who burst into the limelight much in the same tacky fashion that Steve Mbogo did. But unlike Steve Mbogo or any other pretentiously wealthy attention-whore,Kobia was a special kind of crazed. Nothing about him was ever sane. He made wild pronouncements and even claimed to have killed Fidel Odinga. At the height of his infamy,he even started a twitter account that looked like the hell hole of a mentally disturbed despot. His tweets were as stupid as his ideas. And it wasn’t long before Kenyans moved on from him and regretted why they ever gave such a entirely demented Clown so much attention.

7. CRIME OF THE YEAR – Imenti South MP Rape Case

(Dis)honorable MP Gideon Mwiti is the Meru MP who allegedly invited a female journalist to his office only to turn into a beast and after forcibly establishing her HIV status,using a crook doctor he’d invited to his office cum brothel, ended up raping the said woman and kicking her out of his office late into the night. The story made huge headlines and was followed closely by all Kenyans. It even elicited a sharp,divided opinion on Twitter and radio. The question remains, was he ever found guilty?

8. LIE OF THE YEAR – Octopizzo collaboration with August Alsina

This clownish Kibera rapper decided to take everyone for a ride claiming to have secured a coveted collaboration with one of America’s hottest male singers right now. He even did some song and video featuring what sounded like the vocals of the heartthrob. Trouble is,August was never in the video. And to show just how Mr. August was Never Ever involved in the song whatsoever, his management even took to Twitter to shut down Octopizzo’s wild claims and expose him as a pathological liar. Oospy. What a shame. Poor Kibera boy.

9. CAMPAIGN OF THE YEAR – Jadudi

This was the campaign fronted by Zawadi Nyong’o and bolstered by blogger Biko Zulu that sought to raise millions for Jadudi’s head surgery in India. In a matter of hours,as much as 6 million Kenya Shillings had been raised. And Jadudi went to India,got operated on and flew back whole healthy. It took social media by storm.

10. PHOTO OF THE YEAR – Sauti Sol, Uhuru and Obama

After local pop group Sauti Sol were invited to the State House to entertain the visiting POTUS, they later took photos. Many many photos. But one photo went iconic almost immediately even promoting a huge outcry ;the photo of Sauti Sol’s Bien Aime casually hanging on to the shoulders of both Presidents. Uhuru was beaming,as usual. Obama, not so much. He looked confused and uneasy. Bien on the other hand couldn’t care less,he hang onto the two men like he does onto his band mates. Absolutely unperturbed.

11. WEDDING OF THE YEAR…..

It has never been conclusively decided which was the best wedding of 2015. Was it Janet Mbugua’s or Betty Kyalo’s? That question has never been answered. Both weddings were huge and very popular to start with. And both brides were beautiful and very popular with their fan base too. That question has never been answered. And we won’t attempt answering it now. Let’s keep the games going.

12. TWITTER TREND OF THE YEAR – DJ Creme de la Creme.

I was going to pass that dubious honor to Mollis he of the Mollis Nimeshoka fame. But once again, DJ Creme beat him to this one. I mean, Mr. Creme even trended worldwide. Worldwide!!! At Number 7. His sex tape even got British websites writing about him. Honestly,even Mollis didn’t achieve that much. DJ Creme was the ultimate TRENDING TOPIC… His Twitter mentions were epic. That sex tape? Not so much.

13. BLUNDER OF THE YEAR – Bro. Ocholla.

You all remember how that went down right? And how almost all corporates cashed in on these Ocholla misfortunes. Never had such a good laugh in a long time.

14. OCCURRENCE OF THE YEAR – Television Blackout.

No one had envisioned something like this ever happening. Ever. But It happened. For a month or so, Kenyan were plunged onto darkness and had to either buy a Digital set box or forever remain in the darkness. A huge kerfuffle erupted with the media ganging up against the Government. Finally,the media, battered and frail,gave in. And we all now had to buy those pesky decoders if we ever needed TV in our lives again. And we finally did.

15. WOMAN OF THE YEAR – Ann Waiguru

No woman captured the imagination of the public quite like Miss Waiguru did. She was the most talked about character on Social media. And I lost count of just how many times she became a Twitter Trending Topic this year. She was in the news day in day out. And almost always made headlines across all newspapers almost every week. She was even sensationally linked to the President thus raising her status ever further. Street protests were made in favor of her. And against her. No woman was more talked about,no woman was more controversial and certainly no woman was more intriguing as this Iron Lady Anne Waiguru.

16. MAN OF THE YEAR – Uhuru Kenyatta

For obvious reasons,Uhuru was really the man of the Year. He’s the President to start with. And he’s hosted two of the World’s most powerful people ; Obama and the Pope. Both in one year. The staggering levels of corruption in his Government also put him very much on the spot. His frequent foreign travels too making him a very central figure in the way things played out nationally. He also gave many press briefings. And gave us many memorable moments,full of wonder and laughter and admiration and even disgust. No man owned 2015 quite like Uhuru did.

MERRY CHRISTMAS Ghaflalites……..And a Fabolous 2015!