“A Young Lady With Presentable Looks And No Socialite Ambitions” Popular Writer Jackson Biko Posts Crazy Accountant Requirements And The Internet Has A Meltdown

Popular writer Jackson Biko has sent the online Kenyan community afire and this time it is not with one of his stories but rather a job advertisement.

He and his partner are in search for an accountant who can also double as an Office administrator. However, it is the requirements and the way he went about expressing the job availability that had many interested and entertained. He did away with the usual experience and lists and qualifications.

Writing as he would any blog post, he laid out specific expectations from the accountants managing in the process to throw a shed at socialites and step on SDAs toes. Here is the interesting post, you might just be the person needed.

“My partner and I are looking for an accountant. A lady accountant. Someone young. Preferably still smelling of course works. In fact, if you think 38 is old then you are the right fit. You should double as admin. You will receive clients, and be able to shoot the breeze and bullshit with the best of them. Occasionally you will make tea (Mine, black with honey, Fred’s with milk and laxative). It is important that you are presentable in looks. Note; we are not looking for someone with socialite ambitions. Which means you should be able to spell – at the very least, your name. We won’t hire anyone who calls herself, Swagilionaire, or worse, Lucylicious. We are self respecting people, for chrissake!

You won’t do dishes. You should be able to receive phone calls and messages. Which means you can’t sound like someone from Kiza at 3am. Talking of which, you can’t come jobo drunk. Or drink at work. Unless we are all drinking. And we will. Fridays. And sometimes Thursdays. Maybe even on Wednesdays. (If Fred is buying). Oh, if you drink Guarana please don’t even bother. If you have watched Mad Men, we probably will love you. No SDAs…nah, I’m joking!

We are a cool bunch, an office of 13 modern slaves, 11 who are millennials. Which means only 11 are cool. (Hint: doesnt include Fred). So yeah, they are all hiding in their earphones these millennials. Nobody talks to anyone. Talk is cheap in this century. I suspect they don’t even know each other. It is a weird time to be alive. We all love pizza.

Of course we will pay you for this. And your pizza.

Interested or know anyone interested? Please email us on [email protected]”