Uncle Chim Tuna: Lessons Learnt From My Boombaataa Festival Beatdown From 3 Girls!
Sometimes you need to be beaten to learn certain lessons in life. Were it not for my Boombaataa Festival beatdown, I would never have learnt what true fear is: the fear of losing a finger. I would never have learnt the different agendas people in the entertainment industry have and I would never have learnt who is concerned for my safety.
Now for the short version of what happened at Boombaataa festival: I got whooped by 3 girls. The end! Not really, nearly got robbed by bouncers and apparently it’s all on video. At the office however we have been postulating on why it was caught on video and rather than being quickly posted, we were told it exists… Think about it, that is some World Star HipHop Video stuff! Why tell me you have it? Why not post it first?
<Checking whether my manhood is still intact… Seems so!>
Nali (who rarely has anything worth listening to) and Chege and Majani agree that the people that recorded the incident were hoping to blackmail Ghafla into giving them favours. I don’t know, I don’t care either. No really…
What surprised me however was the number of people who cared. I was moved. No, really, I was. I have received death threats and I wasn’t moved -don’t get me wrong, I am not literally trying to catch a bullet for Ghafla! I’d rather not actually. I think bullets would be the wrong choice of accessories for me.
But in the midst of hate and laughter (which was as mainstream as bad music) there were voices of concern… Even Smitta Smitten in a rather manly way showed solidarity. I was actually taken aback!
I have also learnt that if a lass is ugly, you do not fight her! PERIOD! She will have nothing to lose! And never engage chics because the natural response from men (bouncers) is to “white knight”. The girls of whom I speak were involved in a fight soon after but they were left alone. I wasn’t!
I have also learnt just how delicate a finger can be! I am lucky (doctors words) not to have had a more serious problem. I could have lost my finger for chrissakes!
Oh and lads, the most important lesson I learnt was…
Never for the love of God tell a woman this:
OR…
OR…
This is actually closer to what I said. Right before This happened:
And for everyone who wanted to try some monkey business with us, I hope you have learnt that even we don’t take ourselves seriously! No, really, I got beatdown and I wrote the article up for Sue Watiri to post. Why? Because I cannot be cut by the same sword I wield!
