8 Reasons Why Nobody Wants These Female Politicians To Strip Naked. Or Even To Watch Their Nakedness…..

Every time there’s some heated political conundrum,some female (or sadly male) politician must stand up and stupidly announce that if so and so happens to step down,or happens to succumb to their political battles,they’ll strip naked.

These announcements are made with much grandeur and pomp,on a political podium,in front of hundreds of supporters and idlers,and the omniscient presence of the media.

The trend was started by Nyeri Town MP Esther Murugi,a rash problematic lawmaker,with a kooky accent,bewildering pronouncements and a very boring lifestyle.

Hon. Esther Murugi,MP.

But before the emergence of the troublesome Murugi,there was the Nobel Laureate Wangari Maathai,also from Nyeri,and her gang of fellow old women who camped at Uhuru Park to protest to the deadly and autocratic Moi Government over the environment and other political issues who also proceeded to NOT threaten to strip but actually STRIPPED naked after the senseless arrest by the brutal men of Moi’s murderous Police Force zombies.

And after that particular incident, that contributed greatly in earning Mrs Maathai her historic Nobel Prize,many political women thought it a great idea to flaunt the idea of stripping naked if things didn’t go their way.

Forgetting that Wangari Maathai,unlike them,was actually driven by purpose and was actually an activist with a real mission and real passion for what she believed in. Not like half of all these emerging political charlatans with nothing but saggy boobs and decaying husbands.

Stripping naked is actually a sacred thing. It has always been the last resort of protest and dismay for the African woman who,by so doing,has displayed the greatest displeasure ever and has run out of steps to take or moves to make regarding a certain discomforture.

And it hurts to watch all of these brain dead political grandmothers running their aging mouths,wrinkly faced and with crumbling accents decrying the state of affairs and also threatening,to their equally foolish constituents,to STRIP naked over some childish controversy.

Abusing such a sacred form of protest of authentically incensed African women.

Well… 8 REASONS Why Nobody Wants These Female Politicians To Strip Naked. Or Even To Watch Their Nakedness…..

1. It’s An Abuse Of A Sacred Privilege
By jumping on any trend to threaten to strip naked,however mundane,these politicians are abusing a sacred privilege granted to African women from the ancient days ; the privilege of expressing disgust by exposing their nudity. This is an exercise that should ONLY be executed by,like I said before,sincerely incensed women who have run out of options and the ONLY resort they have is to strip. It should also be remembered that for a woman to strip naked on the African traditional society,it’s usually considered her way of cursing her source of porn and anguish. Therefore,such an occurrence has dire ramifications to the recipient of her actions and so,it should be treated with the utmost respect and reverence it deserves. You can’t just wake up and start stripping yourself naked allover this city. Traditional African women didn’t die and get enslaved for this nonsense. This action has to be respected. And treated as seriously as it deserves. Not to be diluted by sycophantic political thugs with no husbands and/or kids.

2. It’s Getting Stale Now 
After Esther Murugi and her juvenile Nyeri antics,and her subsequent failure to actually strip after Uhuru’s ICC tribulations proved real,the whole stripping threat has lost its mojo. It used to be a fad,and Esther Murugi actually made it quite a fancy political thing to do-or attempt to do. Until she bailed out on us and failed to live up to the promise. Now,we don’t look forward to it anymore. And nobody seems to care any longer.

3. We All Know It’s Cheap Talk 
Everytime they jump on to the podium,mic in hand and stupidity in the brain,and announce some impromptu strip off street fest,we already know it’s nothing but the same old political hot air. We don’t take them for their word anymore. Don’t even look forward to them actually stripping for we know just what a reckless mouth they have and how easy it is for them to just talk. And not back it up at all.

4. It’s Obscene
Contrary to what these political thugs think,stripping naked is not the trendiest thing to do. No,really. It has and will always be an obscene thing to do. I mean, it’s nakedness we are talking about here. And in Africa,indeed across the World,nakedness is treated with utmost respect and privacy. Nobody wants to randomly see some pair of old titties and wrinkly butt on a random Thursday morning. Save it for your man-if you have any. And spare us the agony. Really…

5. You’re Old. And Fat. And Grandmotherly. 
If I want to see some female strip naked,either as a form of protest or even for fun,I want that female to be young and sexy and blithe and attractive. Not some greying politician who used to be a civil servant in the Kenyatta administration. No one is interested in seeing some old mother,wrinkly and all,baring all for the world to see. Your goodies (if I can even call them that) are an eyesore. You’re fat and incredibly unattractive. Strick to politics and robbing the public coffers. With an age like yours and a body so tired and old,nobody really is looking forward to seeing what lies underneath those clothes. Not a single person. We want to be aroused. Not induced into flash vomiting. Pooh.

6. Don’t You Have A Family!!? 
Before running around claiming that you’re strip naked,either for Waiguru or Uhuru or Ruto or whichever other hot political personality,remember that you have a family. Half of which doesn’t even like you in the first place. Don’t drag them through the shame of having your flappy titties published on the front pages. And that thing you still call an ass. Your family is ashamed of you as you are already. No need to pile up more reasons for being the ultimate family embarrassment. Remember your husband,however inactive he is . And your kids. And other relatives… Before even entertaining the thought of exposing the family nudity for all and sundry. Oh, what a load of crap you truly are.

7. Role Models? Anyone? 
You’re politicians and,whether we like it or not,there are people,especially young girls,who actually look up to you and aspire to be like you. You’re basically their role models… However disappointing that actually is. Quit all this nonsense and remember there are young girls growing up who watch you and follow your steps. You don’t want to bequeath the reprehensible culture of stripping naked to these young girls. They deserve a better legacy from you. Not the tainted and tarnished legacy of stripping naked all the time for the stupidest reasons. These young girls see a mother in you. And actually want to be leaders like you. And the best legacy you can leave behind is that of lifting up your skirt and exposing your 1920’s panties? And collapsing thighs? Lord have mercy. We have enough trouble already as a country. No need to burden us more with those old,dusty thighs. Aaaarrrgh.

8. It’s Sexist. And Anti-Feminist. 
By using stripping-or threatening to strip-naked as a political tool,the message you’re generally passing is that you’re only good at matters to do with the body and nudity. Women have come a very long way to still want to use their bodies to pass a severe message. In this era of law courts and oh-so-many judicial processes,shuttle diplomacy and boardroom meetings,the best and most effective way to solve an issue is by stripping naked? Really? That’s not only a pathetic backward culture but also a Sexist move that encourages women to only and always view themselves as sexual objects and weapons who can always resort to their bodies to pass a message as opposed to their brains. Women have surely evolved. Some are already leaders of countries and others are actually vying to be the Leader Of the Free World (Hilary R. Clinton) and you’re telling me that,down here,all it takes for a woman to show leadership is by dragging down her panties? In a public rally!? God forbid! I want to puke! And pity the women folk of my good old country. Stripping my ass! No pun intended.

 

 

There. You have it…Have a nudity free day. And welcome home,Papa Francis.