PARTY CULTURE: Kenyans Love to Partyyyy….And After Travelling Across the Country,This is How MERU People Party

Kenyans are renown for their hard core party culture. Unlike other African Countries,excluding,with much pain,Uganda,Nigeria and South Africa,Kenyans can truly party. We do know how to throw a show,we do know how to dress up,show up at a party,get down,get stoned,drunk or whatever. Besides sleeping and politicking over trivialities,clubbing is greatest adventure. And we do love a good one.

But obviously,despite our mutual love for clubbing and partying and getting irredeemably high,channeling our inner most Lamar Odom, we DON’T do it the same way. Some of us like partying in a classy,swanky Uptown parlor,others love to live it up in the downtown dinghies,some of us love the exquisite,imported liquors while some of us will settle for anything locally brewed and potent.

Depending on our pockets,socialization,backgrounds and friends,we party differently but still,the results are the same; ratchetness,runaway drunkenness,rowdiness,filthiness and mental incoherence.

And in a bid to understand just how different Kenyans in different towns and localities party,what ticks them,what music they love to get down to,what beer they love to take and just how they carry themselves in a club,I decided to singlehandedly hit 80% of the clubs in Kenya. Just to party with these different types of people and to not just share a beer with them but also some vibes and energies.

And last weekend,I partied it up in Meru. Yup,the Land Of Kangeta (Miraa)

Much has been said,or missaid,about Meru… It’s a town located to the faaaarrr East of Kenya. It’s actually a very beautiful and clean town,with very cultured and industrious individuals,but when the sun goes down… The wolves come prowling.

This is HOW MERU PEOPLE PARTY…

For a start,Meru is blessed with some really nice and swanky clubs,not excluding the tacky and sleazy ones. And while most people in Meru do earn good salaries and/or make good money from their various businesses,others don’t fare so well…

So,what’s it like in a typical Meru Nightclub?

Miraa-Chewing
Amid the loud,disconcerting music,the sweat and the tacky groin rubs on the dance floor,Most Meru men will be found allover the club chewing miraa and lost deep in thought. Either that or chewing miraa and engaged in deep conversations with their partners who, just like them,also have their mouths full of the green stuff forming a protruding ball out of their cheeks. Miraa chewing is a prominent pass time in Meru and one of the biggest ways to get high,pass the time,have a good time and party. You will find them all over the place… Chewing the night away,lost in a reverie.

Pool
Most Meru clubs,especially the backstreets ones,have a pool section for the pool lovers in the house who,in most cases,are almost about everyone in the Club. You will find them allover the place,Pool sticks in hand and cursing loudly and being generally loud and pompous. Playing pool is quite a huge pastime for Meru people and they do it while gathered around the pool table,beer in hand and,you guessed it,chewing miraa. No party is ever complete without some pool in the Meru nightlife.

Rowdiness
Even when sober,Meru people are known to be loud and hot-tempered. It gets worse when they indulge. Drunk,the Ameru people can be quite a piece of work. They’re loud and boisterous and tempestuous and all over the place. Men and women alike. High and excited,their mouths go into overdrive and they’ll be all over the place,disturbing the peace and being a general nuisance.

Music
Meru clubs rarely play international music. And even when they do,it’s usually quite sparse and not so huge in rotation. Ameru party goers prefer local music. And dared,they can take this whole local business too far. They love dancing along to the Kristoffs and the Kansouls and the Grandpa Records tunes over and over. They’re huge fans of Nairobi pop music and the Deejays will give it to them just as they like it. Internationally,they prefer Jamaican riddims which is what sends them flying off their chairs onto the Dancefloors… Most of which are squeezed open spaces with little space to even move leave alone break a leg.

Odd Coupling
From club to club,Meru people believe in random coupling; walking up to a female target and,drunk,chatting her up hoping to dance with her or take her home(assuming you have one). The women in most of these clubs are themselves tacky and easy to chat up,and the men,armed with that information,spend their whole night trying to couple up and find a mate. And once they like each other,these random couples can put up quite an ugly show ; dancing awkwardly with each other and,if drunkenness allows, even sort of making out around the club. Yuck!

Dress code
Meru people have never been famous for dressing up. To them,all that matters is having a good time,dress code notwithstanding. So,unlike in some other cities,where people show up dressed to kill,the average Meru club goer will show up dressed to impress,alright but still,looking sort of drab and plain. They don’t dress too crazy for the club. And the girls don’t try either. Whatever clothing they found in the wardrobe is mostly what they’ll throw over themselves. And hit the town.

Chafua Meza
Leave it to these people. When to comes to littering the table with all manner of drinks and stuff,Meru people can show you how it’s done. Unlike in some towns where club goers buy just a couple beers and go home,bringing little or no profit to the bar owner,the Meru people are good at buying off the whole bar. And drinking the business down. They’ll show up and order for as many as 5 bottles of whatever EABL bottle at a go. And the orders will keep coming and coming. They’re heavy drinkers. And heavy spenders. But hey, they’re filthy rich!

Black out
Typically,like in most Kenyan clubs,the Meru are good at blacking out… They’re get drunk quick,play a bout of pool,chew themselves away and,before long,they’ll be sprawled on the chairs and corridors,especially in the cheap bars,dead asleep and unable to even move…. Till morning,in most cases.

Dancing
When it comes to breaking the sleekiest moves on the floor,the Ameru party goers are not so blessed. They’re generally poor dancers. But they’re not shy to hit the floor. Also,dance-wise,they show up on the floor for anything. Any song will get them dancing riddim,local,mugithi… They’re given to anything once they’re drunk. And will put up the ugliest dance show ever. Blame it on what? Miraa?

But in general,the AmerUcan people are huge party lovers. And they can really put on a show… If only they can dress right,shut up more,embrace a wider music repertoire and dance better.

On Monday: HOW WESTLANDS PEOPLE PARTY.