25 Things That Murder Suspect Pastor Ng’ang’a Said On Citizen TV Last Night That Prove That,Truly,Kiingereza Ilikuja Na Meli. Number 5 Is A Killer! Hahaha
I must applaud Pastor Ng’ang’a for,despite his total lack of proficiency in communication-leave alone English-he agreed to show up for a National TV showdown and clear his name. But really he just incriminated himself even further.
Unlike the downright illiterate Pastor Kanyari,who bailed out on a Larry Madowo #TheTrend interview and sent a very pathetic text message to the studio explaining away his absence,Ng’ang’a actually showed up. Smart move. Trouble is,he showed up with his grammar missing. And memory. And education.
One of the MOST controversial and disgustingly wealthy Kenyan preachers showed up on Citizen TV last night to try and clear the air over his obvious involvement in a fatal car crash that,in an attempt to cover it up,he ended up botching it up so bad the DPP had to review the case and call for a fresh investigation.
After Weeks of dramatic obstruction of justice and claims of hefty bribery and massive cover-ups,it was finally determined that controversial ‘Man Of God’ who has just launched an alcohol-selling hotel in Naivasha,was actually the ONE driving the glitzy Red Range Rover that led to the untimely death of one and the serious injury of her husband.
And after two weeks of hiding from the press and issuing haphazard pulpit threats and satanic-even childish-curses and pronouncements,Ng’ang’a appeared on Citizen TV Last Night with Hussein Mohammed (who he constantly called Huseeini).
Hussein was in his best behavior. And brought his A-game to the table. Ng’ang’a… Not so much.
He bungled up the interview,contradicted himself so pathetically,appeared dazed and robotic,swallowed his words so much,massacred the English language so badly and gave such lame answers that you would have been forgiven to equating the interview to a Kindergarten porridge-initiating festival.
At some point,I didn’t even bother with his trashy answers anymore. Or horrible attempts to cover-up the obvious. I gave up on what he was even saying… And viewed the interview much in the way I watch Churchill Show. Or Jameni.
In less than 3 minutes,He reduced himself from some pastor intent on clearing his sullied name to some sort of mindless,school dropout comic. And he excelled. Incredibly.
Well,Here are 25 THINGS that Pastor Ng’ang’a Said that TOTALLY PROVED THAT ENGLISH IS NOT EVERYONE’S CUP OF TEA.
Kiingereza,kwa kweli,Ilikuja na Meli….
Check it out. And give this guy some comedy show on Njata TV already!
1. Car is NOT bicycle. If you want to know the owner of a car.. Don’t talk aboutside (the hell is that!!??) eeerr.. Outside…
2. Some boys were take some photos and post them to the Facebook and whatever…
3. It happen that one of the car which cause accident it was there…
4. As a part of director…
5. The person who was driving, I don’t remember his name clear because he is a part of the member who is Mbugua! Waaaah!
6. After this accident,I come to realized that one of the driver or somebody who was that car is a part of my member…
7. I heard that one of the car which was among the car which was in the hotel…
8. You Journalism. You took photo of the day when I was happy in my wedding then you put photo of somebody who is died. Oh Lord!
9. You Journalism! You must come clear! And show the things how it is.
10. You can read,just a minute,you can read on newspaper that I was drunkards
11. Let somebody come and say we drinked with him this bar and this bar and this bar…
12….. That’s why I want where… Where I was drunkard,who I was with him…
13. It’s an example of how people can saw your car…
14. Who said that? By who? By Journalism? The one who put my photo? Hahaha
15. I can’t record all those thousands people in my head…
16. If anybody say I was at Togoni with the Polices…
17. Can I ask you question?
18. Nobody is happy when somebody is dies…
19. Sius me… (Excuse Me)
20. You can read newspaper,they say I say this i say this,who has ask me question?
21. Because the car was among the hotel… I would go as a human… Ngai Fafa!
22. Demon cannot work itself…
23. Some spirit how they got people,how they causes people, and how they misuse people but about to many person….
24. My heart I am not happy of how Journalism are doing to me…
25. Let journalist become profeshonororo (Ok,that’s WHAT I heard… That’s what we all heard)
Bonus…
My children say that I am now a sarambry.. Sarambrities… (Celebrity)
God,Jail this crook already!
