AVRIL LESSONS: In This Politically-Correct Country,You’re Damned If You’re Born Again,Damned If You’re Not… So This Is Why Avril Should Remain With The Devil.

For the last week or so,Avril has been all the rage after some amateur video emerged of her being tantalized into accepting ‘Christ’ by Tanzanian worship singer Christina Shusho. After watching that ambiguous video,a decision was quickly arrived to,especially by bloggers and online potentates,Avril is now BORN AGAIN! Quick,Let’s make a fuss out of it!

Avril was attending some event at the CUEA where she met famed Tanzanian singer Christina Shusho,an avowed lover of Christ and Gospel zealot. And in the heat of the moment,Shusho,ever the evangelist,decided to throw the gauntlet at Avril… And invited her,I would say,coaxed her,into ‘Getting prayed for’ and ‘Getting born again‘. Afraid of letting such a honorable woman of God down,Avril,cornered,did what anyone would have done ; She admitted that,yes,she loved God and blah blah blah but wouldn’t mind being ‘prayed for’. Whatever that means.

Some smart guy was taking a video and in no time,Avril was the talk of town! Oh! If only she can get ‘Born Again’ every weekend!

Shusho and a church crew praying for a confused Avril.

In this politically-correct Country,getting ‘born again’,which is righteous parlance for ‘fully accepting Christ as Your Lord and Savior and abandoning the World for Him’, is quite a big deal.

We were brought up in strict Church backgrounds that made such a maddening fuss over whoever got born again that we grew up believing that getting ‘born again’ is a historic event in itself.

We were brought up in stuffy,cacophonous Churches that would parade dazed people at the alter and take them through the very public and sometimes humiliating process of getting ‘born again‘.

We were brought up in Churches where,after every sermon,no matter how lame and downright senseless it was,the Pastor,all sweaty and pompous,would throw the dreaded question to the drained congregation; ‘Nani anataka kuokoka? Mkono Juu! Usiogope… Inua Mkono uombewe…’

We were brought up in a Gospel so intoxicating,a Church tradition so blinding that we were made to believe that getting ‘Born Again’ had to always be a raucous,public affair that culminated in unbridled ululating and some sort of spiritual carnival.

That’s how we were brought up. And that’s why,to date,many years after we ditched the humdrum Sunday School indoctrination,many years after we stopped going to Church,we still go all gaga and erupt in a frenzy whenever someone ‘gets born again’. In public.

As we grew up,accepting Christ and making a concerted effort to live for Him and serve Him was NEVER a private affair. It had to be sensationalized. And it still is today.

We were taught that getting born again was NOT even your choice. The pastor had to make the choice for you…By first hitting you with a fiery 2-hour sermon and then,assuming you’ve been scared enough by the number of times he mentioned ‘Hell’,You are bamboozled and confused and threatened into accepting Christ. Even when you are not ready.

In this Country,accepting Christ also means accepting the barrage of judgments and finger-pointing that society will start throwing at you. In this Country,If you accept Jesus,you immediately sign up for some form of social warfare. You are either ostracized. Or placed on a pedestal… That you should NEVER fall from. Ever!

In this country,if you backslide,which is Christian lingua for ‘denouncing the Lord’ you’re made into an object of ridicule. You’re ostracized by the very Church that vowed to stand by you through thick and thin,you’re reduced into a marketplace punchline and you’re singled out as a spiritual failure. You will NEVER recover. Ever!

In this warped country,we will force you and push you into accepting Christ even when we haven’t ourselves. And probably never will.

We will judge you for NOT agreeing to get ‘Born Again’. And judge you for agreeing to get ‘Born Again’.

No matter what you do and how you do it,you will never win! Because,as we grew up,we were taught that getting born again is NOT a private affair between you and your Lord. We were socialized into believing that accepting Christ was OUR affair. It was a communal affair. Almost a national affair. We were taught that we had to participate in your journey of faith. And judge you along the way. Applaud you and ridicule you as you rise and fall.

And that’s why,faced with a question like ‘Do You want to receive Jesus as Your personal Lord and Savior’,Avril couldn’t say NO. Not in this judgmental,character-assassinating Country.

I pity poor Avril. I feel like her rights were trampled upon. And that it was WRONG to parade her as a’ sinner’ and publicly invite her to accept Jesus. As if she’s been praying to Lord Buddha since birth.

This nonsense of coercing people to get ‘Born Again’ MUST STOP!

It’s a deep commitment. And a severely personal choice… I don’t get why Spiritual Leaders have to make such a huge spectacle out of it. And publicly blackmail hapless people into getting ‘Born Again’.

But in a country like this,where failure to accept Jesus reduces you into an object of scorn,You can never say NO. Not in public.

You must play along,and look like you care. You must say yes,and agree to whatever you’re told. You can never say ‘I am NOT ready’. Neither can you ever say no to a free offer of free impromptu prayers. Not when there’s a whole seated congregation looking at you. And banking on you.

This ‘Born Again’ business is a dirty business…

And that’s why Avril,at least for now,must remain with ‘The Devil’.